Temari: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Naruto: What if it bites me and it dies?
Kankuro: That means you’re poisonous. Fuck’s sakes, learn to listen.
Shikamaru: What if it bites itself and I die?
Temari: It’s voodoo.
Kankuro: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Gaara: That’s correlation, not causation.
Naruto, *grinning*: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Kankuro: No-
Shikamaru: That’s kinky.
Gaara: What?
Kankuro: Oh my god-
Tag: sand sibs
Gaara: Some months ago I lost my life to the Akatsuki.
Naruto [with muffled sobbing]: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE YOU’RE DEAD
Gaara: Sometimes I can still hear the voice of the dear friend I left behind.
Naruto: [gross sobbing continues, accompanied by a violent tackelhug that takes the esteemed Kazekage straight down to his office floor]
Gaara: It appears someone messed up and sent me to heaven.
Naruto: !!! STOP !!! SAYING !!! YOU’RE DEAD !!!
Naruto: YOU ARE SO NOT FUNNY RIGHT NOW GAARAAAAA
Cheloneuniverse 