Tag: TW depression

drusillathekiller:

This was my ‘favourite little Buffy thing’ (I was the one who submitted it), but really when I say ‘favourite thing’, I mean ‘that Buffy thing that rips my heart out through my chest whenever I think about it.’

I mean;

• Doyle: Struggling to deal with his half-demon roots, Doyle’s relationship with his wife falls apart, and they get divorced even though it’s obvious they loved one another very much. Doyle turns to drinking and gambling (both of which he is implied to have an addiction to). This is perhaps to drown out the guilt of letting his demon kin get massacred after refusing to help them. Dies young saving a group of half-demons as penance. 
• Cordelia: Family is sent to prison for tax evasion, leaving her unable to go to university, and all alone without a family. Her dreams of becoming an actress fail spectacularly. All the men she has ever loved (Xander, Doyle, Angel) has either cheated on her, died, or in some way never worked out with her. Is struck not once but twice by a horrible demonic pregnancy, is left in a coma, and at one point is forced to feel all the collective misery of the entire world. 
• Drusilla: Is stalked, tortured, raped (or at least very strongly implied to have been raped), brainwashed, driven insane, and ultimately enslaved by a pair of vicious vampires who forced her to watch the brutal deaths of her family. She was driven insane with the guilt of her visions, and believes herself to be evil long before she actually was. Her relationship with Spike- the only person who was halfway decent to her- falls apart at least partially due to a vision of him falling in love with The Slayer he swore to kill for her. She tries to bring her ‘family’ back together out of love and loneliness, but all she gets for her efforts is set on fire, then tazered, tied up, and offered as a sacrifice by Spike. The one person who genuinely cared for her. She then wanders the world alone, unable to properly look after herself due to the debilitating insanity she suffers. And let’s not even get into the trauma tango she dances all by herself in the comics…  
• Cassie: Has a alcoholic, allegedly violent father who divorced her mother on bad terms. Is a outcast at school where she has no friends, nor ambition for the future. Knows exactly when she’s going to die (young), and that there is not a single thing she can do about it. Even a Slayer couldn’t save her.  

You could argue that if they never had the visions, a lot (perhaps not all, but a lot) of the pain and heartbreak would never of happened to them…

• Would Cassie of fallen into the lonely and fatalistic state she wallowed in if she wasn’t plagued with knowledge of the future, and knowledge of her death?
• Would Doyle’s crippling guilt for not helping his kin of been so unbearable if he hadn’t seen the vision of them being massacred?
• Would Darla and Angelus of picked out Drusilla as a ragdoll to toss around if they didn’t know she had The Sight? Alternatively, would Drusilla and Spike of fallen apart if she hadn’t foreseen his infatuation with Buffy?

Being a seer must be the suckiest gift ever. It’s like being blessed with a death sentence, or excitedly opening a present to find someone’s sent you a box of venomous snakes.