drusillathekiller:

like-mayo-with-a-t​

Hi! ❤ That’s a pretty plausible Doylist explanation. :3 I personally prefer reasoning on a Watsonian level, but the fact that Dru was a minor character- a minor antagonist, no less – probably factored into it. Why waste time reflecting on characters who aren’t relevant to the main plot, after all? Drusilla is only in twenty four episodes of the Buffyverse- less than 10% of the series- so Angel reminiscing on her in every episode would only serve to stifle and distract from the active plot. I think we’re just meant to assume he agonizes over it conveniently off-screen. 

It’s not that we’re not shown him being haunted by the horrors he caused Drusilla that bothers me; Angel rarely expresses guilt loudly and proudly. He doesn’t seem the sort to scream about his regret at the top of his lungs. He’s the type who would let it fester quietly under his skin like a broken rib; nobody can see how much pain he’s in, but it hurts him to breathe. Hence the sulking in a sewer for decades; it was easier for him to just retreat into himself than be vocal and proactive about his remorse. So him not talking often about Drusilla makes sense to me. That’s not why I sometimes don’t buy that he’s sincerely sorry about it. 

The reason I question Angel’s guilt is because he set Drusilla on fire and then bragged about it to Kate. The reason I question Angel’s guilt is because he joked about Drusilla “being fickle” to Spike, ignoring or dare I say even reveling in the fact that it’s his fault that she’s so emotionally unstable. Because he seemed horrified at the idea of giving up on Faith, but apparently saw Drusilla as irredeemable. Inconsistencies and double standards like that is why I question Angel’s guilt.

Alas, it’s not just Drusilla; Angel is the kind of character who’ll preach about unconditional forgiveness one moment and order the cold-blooded murder of Lindsey (who wanted to change his ways) the next. He’s the sort of character who’ll claim being riddled with self-loathing for his crimes one moment and boast about eating his own parents the next (Sense and Sensitivity). Lindsey had to die for turning a blind eye to the corrupt nature of his employers for two years. Angel deserves infinite chances in spite of murdering, raping, and torturing an entire continent of people for two hundred years. Lindsey did it to escape poverty. Angel did it because he could. The moment Lindsey truly realized how depraved Wolfram and Hart was he fled of his own free will, turning down a promotion and risking his life in the process. When Angel got a soul and realized how horrible his own actions were he tried to carry on as normal for two years. It’s more or less irrefutable that Angel has much more blood- quite literally in many cases- on his hands than Lindsey. Doylist explanation? Different writers had different interpretations of Angel as a character, thus leading to the contradiction in his philosophies. Watsonian explanation? Angel is not quite as heroic as we’re led to believe. And as previously established, I’m a sucker for Watsonian theories.

xoxox