it’s very unlikely that more is ever going to come of this au, if only because Barry would probably do very different things if Klaus wasn’t conquering Europa, so here, have the chat:
tanoraqui i’m still a little mentally stuck on this
tanoraqui what if…idk, i guess if Klaus got killed? close enough into Europa that he was nearly there, but before he got home? and Gil just ends up adopted into the Knights of Jove somehow?
do the Smoke Knights take in random orphans answer yes, because I just Decided
God dammit, who’s trying to kidnap Tarvek now!? He’s being passed around the political factions like a doobie. He’s gonna get passed back to Gil needing a bath from everyone’s sticky hands.
The funny thing is, I don’t think Tarvek’s going to destroy most of these people. I mean, the Library, his Grandmother (who he appears to be fond of), Seffie was sort of trying to help…
WHoever’s after him now might die pretty hard, though.
Ok, so. The phrasing there really stands out to me for some reason. Tweedle “needs” Tarvek dead. I can’t quite put into words why it feels so significant to me (other than the obvious acknowledgement of Tarvek’s skills, of course).
Yeah, I feel that way too.
I mean, remember the current picture. Martellus has an army of devoted and super strong Sparhounds Knights. Martellus pretty much took over the family, hunting down all dissidents. Martellus put the Railways on his side. Martellus destroyed Zombie-Andronicus alongside Agatha Heterodyne in front of all of Paris, put the crown of the Storm King on his head and paraded on the street.
Meanwhile, Tarvek is alone, powerless, hunted by pretty much everybody. He has a few distant allies, some people who’d rather keep him alive so they can use him, but not even a minion truly on his side.
And yet Tweedle fears him. He doesn’t feel safe under his crown, and he never will as long as Tarvek lives.
He’s not Banquo, either! Tweedle’s fear is legitimate – Tarvek has the better claim.
Pretty upset about the continued survival of that sniveling weakling, huh, Martellus?
Twice we have Tarvek say he’s the legitimate heir – and Martellus doesn’t argue about that. Given the disaster that the Valois lineage is, that must be a good claim.
Red Headed Cousin and Black Jewels are getting separate posts because I got specific questions about them, but –
The Pretender I’ve actually written. Check out the link.
Jägerson is a collaboration with @scribeprotra on Discord. Lucrezia decided to give Tarvek Jagerish qualities when she was designing him. Probably she wanted him to be inclined to obey her when she had her lovely new body. He’s got the nose, so he can smell Jägers. They smell like friendship to him.
Generally an imitation Jäger gets killed instantly, but this kid obviously had no control of what happened to him, so the Jägers aboard Castle Wulfenbach take him under their wings and treat him (and Gil) like little brothers.
Anyway, Tarvek’s still Tarvek shaped, but he can punch through things like steel doors without much issue, and he likes to roll around play-fighting with anyone he doesn’t have to be careful not to break. He once absent-mindedly elbowed Martellus across a room, so… he has to be careful not to break basically everyone. (And he’s tired of it.)
Kings of Clay: The twins are the results of Zanta’s second pregnancy, so Klaus gets back later, and Gil is younger. Klaus tracks down Adam and Lilith and persuade them to raise Gil with Agatha – Barry wasn’t paranoid about Klaus when he left Agatha with them because he still thought Klaus was dead.
Anyway, in order to disguise the fact that there’s a Heterodyne child aboard Castle Wulfenbach, the Jägers show an interest in the entire school. Tarvek notices that Gil and Agatha are there because their parents are personal friends of the Baron, so he decides being friends with them would be useful …
There comes a point where most people think of Tarvek, Gil, and Agatha as a unit. Then Aaronev Wilhelm demands him back.
Better Terms: Sturmhalten is the last holdout (in that region) against a joint Heterodyne-Wulfenbach Empire. Tarvek gets to go to Paris, where he makes friends with Gil Hölzfaller and tries to pretend that he’s doesn’t have a sword of Damocles hanging over his head. Then he has to go home because of what happened to Anevka.
He holds out for a couple of years, trying to mitigate the damage his father is causing, but also not willing to kill his father. That restraint breaks when Agatha shows up (as Madame Olga) and A.W. decides to bring back the Other.
Tarvek’s the one who commits patricide in this universe. Then he triggers his ‘get rid of the geisters’ plan. When that’s over, he surrenders to the Empire. But yeah. He’s not in the mood to fight.
Me, to the AU version of Tarvek I’m struggling with right now: WHY VENICE?
Tarvek: Well, I couldn’t stay in anywhere that Wulfenbach will have conquered for obvious reasons, the Master of Paris both hates and recognizes Heterodynes, the Polar Ice Lords tax fire, and I don’t want to raise a Heterodyne in England.
Me @ Tarvek from that AU: You fall through the hole in the fabric of space-time like the dweeb you are.
Tarvek: I’m not a dweeb.
Me: And then you attract the geisterdamen to Barry while he’s fleeing and they kill him
Tarvek: WHAT
Me: And you kill them.
Tarvek: Thank you.
Me: And Barry asks you with his dying breath to take care of “her” and hands you baby Agatha
Tarvek: And I revivify him
Me: No, you’re in the middle of a snowy forest with nothing useful around but what Barry and the geisters brought with them
Tarvek: …
Me: Agatha’s going to get frost~bite
Tarvek: …
Me: OKAY YOU MAKE A SLEDGE AND BRING ALONG HIS BODY ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU STILL CAN’T REVIVE HIM TOO MUCH – AGH, you know the fuck what? He doesn’t tell you to take care of the baby because HIS BRAIN WAS DESTROYED now do you give up
Tarvek: You’re sadistic
Me: This is a whump fic. Anyway, you carve “Venice” into a tree to let your spouses know where to look for you when they come through because you already had that logic train, and you burn Barry’s body. And take his tools. And set off with baby Agatha to Venice.
Tarvek: I can’t call her Agatha that’s my wife’s name and they are biologically identical and it’s creeping me out.
Me: Don’t worry, you’re not your father. You name her Teodora after her grandmother.
Tarvek: Yes.
Me: And you work your way to Venice by, um,
Tarvek: Repairing Spark work
Me: Have you planned this?
Tarvek: I have plans for everything.
Me: Okay, well, you’re good at repairing Spark work so you get to Venice with some money and not starving, and you set up as a tailor
Tarvek: Using the passcodes I found in Paris I insinuate myself as one of the Incorruptible Library’s spies.
Me: Using the what now?
Tarvek: They were old when I found them.
Me: Okay, you … do that. And you raise Ag- Teodora, and when she starts breaking through you replicate the locket
Tarvek: FUCK YOU
Me: Language! Barry’s logic still stands. If it’s a comfort, you do it better and it doesn’t hurt her hardly at all. You’re very good.
Tarvek: Thanks. Fuck you anyway.
Me: And you collect enough information to get the Baron a persuasive message suggesting that he hunt for the Other’s minions in Sturmhalten and he does and baby!you ends up being raised on Castle Wulfenbach forever hooray.
Tarvek: And where are my spouses? They are looking for me.
Me: They are having temporal issues, they don’t find you until you’ve got Teodora set up as the Heterodyne with the repaired Castle and the help of the Jägers. And then it’s been like three years for them and twenty for you and it is ~awkward~ but you love each other anyway and Teodora agrees that you have to go home and the Muses are like: We take our eyes off of you for TEN MINUTES and you age twenty years, WHAT THE HELL YOUR MAJESTY And you rewrite high fashion because you hate gammon cuffs.
Tarvek: You don’t even know what those are.
Me: ANYWAY you rule Europa and have a lot of children the end
Cheloneuniverse 