omg I’m doing research for one of projects for college, and apparently, girls learn better when they’re in an all girls class, but boys learn even worse when they’re in an all boys class, because all the negative things become even stronger of there are no girls to act as “buffer”
get rid of the boys and let girl learn in peace, i couldn’t care less about them
It’s not our job to be a “buffer”
Separate boys from girls then, they don’t have to be acting like mothers at age 12, if boys ruin the education of others boys, um, idk, fix their behavior maybe?
I work at uni. My program is very competitive. Like you need a 92% or more to get in. We get 10x the applications than we can accept. So. This means our program is 95% female. Simply because girls do better in highschool than boys. Its literally that simple. However. This is a HUGE deal in the administration! Because OMG all those poor boys with less than a 92% can’t get into our program and woe is me, those poor poor boys. Every year we meet to talk about ways to “rectify” this “problem”. One year they’re going to stop inviting me to these meetings. Because I always ask questions like “how do we get boys into the program with lower GPAs without denying girls with higher GPAs? And how is giving boys preferential treatment not sexist?” Keep going good ladies, I’m saving your seat!
This type of thing always happens when women are dominating something, protocols are changed to accommodate and benefit men, and if this strategy isn’t successful the field is devalued.
Keep the good work!
The amount of times I heard my grandfather talk about the ‘feminization’ of schools because he wanted to blame the system for boys under performing (or, more accurately: girls out performing the boys) instead of, ya know, boys’ entitled attitudes and overall piss poor behavior when at school.
When women fail at something: there must be something wrong with women When women succeed at something: there must be something wrong with the system
I think I’ve talked about it before on other posts, but I once had an anthropology class that, completely unintentionally, was all women and one man, and he dropped the course after two weeks. The other section of the same anthropology class, taught by the same professor, was mixed with men and women. So, since it was anthropology, she asked if it was cool if she took notes. She said right away that the all female class had a wildly different vibe, that we spoke and acted differently and had different social expectations of her and the rest of the class, and that we let students complete their thoughts before disagreeing, while the mixed class was highly traditional and almost entirely male dominated because every time a woman spoke, a man jumped in halfway through to “correct” her by saying the same thing. Its a very small sample size, but I think about this a lot
So all those “girls shoulders and knees distract boys from learning” policies…..
Reminds me of my mom getting remarried several years ago, for about a weekend – dude waited until after the wedding to tell her he expected her at waiting at home with dinner waiting when he finished work.
I dunno, like I get that this version of manhood is “normal” but goddamn is it the most brittle, contemptable fuckin thing
Our society has a number of loveable buffoons who fool around and are excused from acting like prats because they’re funny. They might be rubbish at most things but as long as their banter is flowing, we put up with it.
These types are almost exclusively men. You don’t get hilarious, idiotic women being lorded as icons of our culture. Diane Abbott is dismissed as a cretin while Boris Johnson is a joker.
Which begs the question: is conscious male incompetence a form of misogyny?
If you labour the point that you can’t cook, then chances are that you won’t be made to cook. If you make a hash out of doing the laundry or hoovering, you’re forcing someone else to take over.
Few have the patience to watch someone do a job badly over and over again and so often, they’ll just take it upon themselves to do your chores as well as their own. Emotional labour is doubled when you’ve got an incompetent clown on your hands.
I was recently listening Semi Circles, a BBC radio comedy starring Paula Wilcox, first broadcast in 1989.
It’s about a housewife who recently wakes up to the fact that she’s spent the past eight years being a slave to her kids and nice-but-emotionally-dim husband.
Part of this awakening is the realisation that she does all the housework because her husband is crap at it. Left alone, he makes inedible food. He lets the kids stay up well beyond their bedtime. He leaves the house a tip.
He doesn’t even try to do a good job because he fears that if he’s too good at these jobs, his wife will make him do more of them.
Put these garbage men in the garbage where they belong.
I went and checked the original source and it’s worse. While most of the comments get the problem (the lying, not the eggs) some of them just cannot see that this shit is actually a big honking warning sign for bigger shit. A loving person is not capable of doing this.
He literally puts his mere convenience over her actual well being. This guy thought up and executed a plan where she has to do *all* the work (because of course it wasn’t just this one specific thing) while he watches her tire herself out from the sidelines. Imagine this going on for *years*. …now imagine this with kids. You think this guy cares if she gets off during sex? Would he take care of her if she were to get sick? Would he ever lift a finger if he could get away not doing it?
She can’t trust a word he says and he doesn’t give a shit about her needs. It’s not about the *eggs*.
Sorry to reblog from you, stranger, but this commentary is all very good. I especially appreciate the emphasized statement that “a loving person is not capable of doing this.” That line is going to rattle around my brain for ages — the words feel good in my mouth. How you’ve said it is just so right.
I want to add some of OP’s further comments on the thread she made:
“To be fair, I have pretty high standards for cleanliness and his idea of clean vastly differs from mine and honestly, that’s okay! But now I’m starting to seriously wonder if he sabotaged cleaning, too, just to get me to do it. Dishes, for instance. He will wash half and leave a nasty sink full of the rest, claiming he’ll do them later. This drives me nuts, so I just do them. Often he will leave crusted on shit on then, too, so okay, I’ll just do them, right? Now because of the egg business, I’m seeing it as malicious.”
→ The husband is lazy. He seemingly commits to housework, only to bail partway through, and doesn’t even put in the effort required to do the job right in the first place.
“Yes, he sucks at dishes and laundry to the point he is banned from doing them. He will leave clothes in the washer overnight and doesnt separate anything to the point I’ve had many white clothes ruined. My favorite white brassiere is now pink due to his bullshit.”
→ The husband is inconsiderate of his wife’s property, even that which is well-loved. Could his repeated failure to learn how to do this task have been a ruse? Did he anticipate his banishment from laundry duty? OP now has to genuinely wonder about this.
“I’m starting to think he does things wrong on purpose now just to get me to do it. Another example! My car. For a while my driver side door wouldn’t open from the outside, so I had to crawl through the passenger side. He ordered a handle and kept putting it off for WEEKS. Finally, he says his hands are too big to do it, so I had to do it.”
→ The husband makes excuses for himself that cast him as an unwitting victim to fate, with the implication that he would totally do [action], if only he could. He distances himself from any possibility of blame.
Obviously, anonymous forum posts are taken with a grain of salt — we, as readers, will never know for sure if OP is real. That’s not a concern for me, though. Like I don’t care. The fact is that if one assumes this is all true, it is very obvious that the poster’s husband is a perfect example of maliciously feigned incompetence. He’s manipulative and lazy to the point of cruelty, expecting his wife to work while he fails to lift a single functioning finger. The statement that “he likes her eggs better” isn’t cute like some have stated in the replies to this post; it’s just another excuse that walls him off from criticism, a bullshit reason he pulled out of his ass to make her feel guilty and unreasonable for being upset.
The absurdity of the situation when taken at face value — lying about eggs, getting mad about making eggs, even just the reality of deviled eggs (an inherently silly prep style) being someone’s favorite food — extends an air of the absurd to the wife’s concerns, and to others’ warnings. I have noticed several comments to the tune of, “These people are all mad about eggs? What a joke! How oversensitive. That’s just how men are; this is just what marriage looks like.”
It’s fucked up, is what it is.
…deviled egg lady, if you’re truly out there somewhere, I hope you told your husband to make his own goddamn eggs from now on. It’s literally the least he can do.
When I was angry about this people reblogged from me to say it was no big deal and saying that it’s not as bad as I was making it sound and that he was actually just complimenting her and everyone takes things too seriously…this is what you need to read.
Actions show you the mind of the person who decided to act on them. His actions told her that he was capable of lying to and manipulating her for his own benefit. That is never healthy. It’s a sense of entitlement that can only be achieved when he doesn’t view her as having equal value as him, that her labour can be exploited to compensate for his lack of contribution.
It will never be the only time he is manipulative, that’s a place you can only get to when manipulation is very common and easy for you, you don’t even consciously realise that anymore.
It’s more than an abuse red flag, it’s abusive on its own.
my professor spent our entire seminar whining about how there’s too many girls in our group and not enough boys. he was like “i’m not saying women can’t be good surgeons but we need more men” no, we don’t. men suck. deal with it.
CRY ALL YOU FUCKING WANT YOUR TEARS DON’T MEAN SHIT TO ME. YOUR TEARS MEAN DICK TO ME JUST SO YOU KNOW
Okay so not to be that person who adds on to a post with their own story but my mom is a doctor and when I was eleven she took me to these all-female seminar led by a woman who was the head of a hospital because my mom is an empowered and independent woman who wanted her daughter to be the same way and so there’s like thirty females surgeons in the room, all sitting around his huge circlular confrenece table and talking about their experiences in becoming surgeons
most of them were like “everyone told me I should become a nurse or a pediatrician” and “people assume that I don’t know what I’m doing” you know, your average sexist bs
one of the women’s last name was starboard (yeah I know great name) and she was talking about how even though now she was one of the most accomplished surgeons at the hospital, the male scrub techs (read: guys who didn’t go to fucking medical school) and some of the male doctors call her starbitch in the OR because they (scrub techs mostly, strangely enough) try to suggest different ways to care for the patient and she always tells them no you didn’t go to med school and I did and so they would go out of their way to get the male doctors to treat the patient differently and then she would have to argue with him to prove what she was doing es right but sometimes the male doctor would come and take over the case anyway and this went on for a while
but then the hospital statistics changed bc this woman was literally being prevented from treating her patients bc the men were interfering and so the administrative head heard about this (she was female) and she was like y’all better stop or y’all better start looking for new jobs and then starboard was allowed to work on her patients and got the scrub techs replaced and all of the sudden, the patients were suddenly doing much better during and after surgery.
when she told this story she was like “people still call me a bitch, and maybe I am because I won’t let them walk all over me, but when you’ve got something to do, when you’ve got a life to save, you have to ignore their bullshit so that you can save someone’s fuckin life. Sexism should never stop you from accomplishing that”
and little eleven-year-old me still remembers that bc I was insecure and awkward and here was this woman who just did what she had to do and ignored all the people trying to stop here and she really was better than all the male doctors (like her patient stats were better) and I thought I should share with you this inspiring woman with the cool last name
(I’m not a real Tolkien buff, just a
Tolkien hobbyist, so please consider this a placeholder post for something much
cleverer.)
One of the fantastic things about LOTR is
how it weaves stories-within-stories, how glimpses of myth and history are
revealed through character interactions. The sheer wealth of backstory is
amazing, but what brings the whole thing alive is the characters’ awareness
that they themselves are re-enacting, continuing or creating stories. It’s the
clearest with the characters of Bilbo, Frodo and Sam, who openly comment on
being in a story, who are comforted by stories, who become the stuff of epic
ballads in Gondor and who end up writing the story that becomes the Red Book of
Westmarch, and therefore LOTR itself. (Note that the power and burden of
telling their own stories rests with the ringbearers.) But hints of the same
thing show up in other subplots too –Aragorn the storied heir, Arwen as an echo
of Luthien, Gandalf capitalising on his own mythical status.
Things get a little weird when it comes to
Eowyn. Because the more I look at it, the more she reads like a female
character who knows she’s at the mercy of a sexist storytelling tradition. Some
of Eowyn’s grief comes of worry and shame and thwarted love, but the recurring
motif is fear of being forgotten, of not being remembered in songs as a valiant
hero. Of dying in that last desperate fight protecting hearth and home, with
her bravery forever unremembered and unsung. And her fear is entirely
justified, considering the rest of the LOTR universe: compared to the immense
number of male characters, there are staggeringly few named/speaking/relevant female
characters. For the most part, women’s lives and deaths are forgotten, both in
the present day and the various layers of backstory. Don’t bring me
counterexamples, I know that there are some, the point is that there are not
very many. I once wrote a list of characters whose fathers or father figures
and present/named, while their mother figures are dead/absent/unnamed: it is
most characters.
Unlike the male characters Frodo, Sam or
even Faramir, who become part of a war story against their will and only want
to see it through the end, Eowyn seeks out danger in the hopes of renown or a
good honourable death. She has to – in the LOTR world, women automatically
disappear from the war narrative, either safely evacuated, or horribly killed
in ways the author doesn’t want to describe. She’s holding on to a narrative
that keeps trying to buck her off. Her primary motivation is to take part in
the narrative as an active character. She tries to be where things happen, she
follows the action – even her love for Aragorn is implied to be a consequence
of her quest for renown. Aragorn is a mythic hero, and getting to be near him
might let her touch the story.
It’s poignant that she has to dress as a
man in order to get close to the plot, but her big, heroic moment comes with a
revelation of her identity as a woman. Once she managed to take heroic action
and indelibly write herself into legend, she can retreat to the peace known to
hobbits and Faramir, and spend the rest of her life doing important but non-epic
things. But she’s safe to do that now she has her title of “Lady of the
Shield-Arm”, now she has won renown.
II don’t think Tolkien was deliberately
writing a critique of his own sexism. I think he set up the rules of his
secondary world in an unthinkingly sexist way, but he wanted to write a cool
female character, and these two priorities kept clashing and clashing on the
page, she can’t be in this scene because she’s a woman but I need her to be in
this scene because it will be great, and out of that conflict Eowyn was born.
Anyone else tired of the 3 guy 1 girl character setup in literally every movie ever?
It’s because at roughly that ratio is where men feel that men and women are represented equally.
There was a study done and when there was 1:1 male/female the male audiences felt as though there were more too many women. In general the men studied perceived things like 3 guys to 1 girl as more representative of the world.
That disgusts me.
There have also been studies in which it was found that men think women talk much more than they actually do – if they have to share equal air time with a woman they think they’re not getting a word in edgewise.
Imagine being so used to privilege and prioritization to think that the equal treatment of others is an unfairness to you.
When you think about how issue 700 is a “where are they now” issue, with characters getting 1-3 panels each, how they appear in that small space matters even more.
Let’s rate all the female character appearance in 700 based on how much they uplift or downcast the character.
Anko: one of the only characters whose face is bright and cheerful in 700… but, she’s fat… and while I would really like to believe that making her fat isn’t meant to be making her a joke… well. We’ll give this portrayal 8 points out of 10, since at least she’s happy. Hinata: genuinely looks happy, visiting cousin’s grave, being a good mom, 10/10 Tenten: miserable, failing business, all alone, 0/10 Temari: lecturing her son but gets ignored by him, is serving her brothers drinks but is uninvolved in actual ninja business, pinched face, 2/10 Ino:enraged, instantly blows up into bitch fest with Karui whom she addresses with utter loathing, the men trying impotently to calm the women down 1/10 Karui: tbh it is kinda fucking horrible that Karui treats the InoShikaCho formation so lightly. even if there is peace, there may not always be peace, and traditions like that are important to pass down. fight me, Karui. fight me right now. 1/10 Kurenai: hanging out at home in her kimono looking older than she should (does Kishimoto have any idea how 40-50 year old women actually look? Tsunade un-henged has the same issue in the original series, Jiraiya looks fantastic but Tsunade looks like the crypt keeper), looking confused as her daughter dashes off to Actually Ninja, 6/10 Tsunade: let the bitch fest commence! actually Tsunade is probably fine with this as long as there is an open bar. 10/10 Terumi Mei: one-dimensional character is one-dimensional. oh boo hoo hoo I’m a drop dead gorgeous kunoichi with two kekkei genkai but no body wants to date me boo hoo hoo WTF. in what possible universe would this woman have trouble finding a man. 0/10 Moegi:
Ga-chk indeed. At least she’s basically doing some kind of ninja thing here though. 8/10 Sakura: Woo boy. She’s shown dusting, complete with kerchief and apron.
Ok. let me get this straight. I’m a housewife, ok? Far be it from me to say that housewives are stupid, lame, useless, whatever. They/we are not. And housework and “low skill” cleaning is unfairly devalued, especially coded feminine tasks. But even I, who is comfortable in my identification as a feminist housewife, would not want to be depicted in a “where are they now” montage fucking dusting.
And Sakura is, at least supposedly, not just a housewife. She has really specific, important, rare skills regarding healing. It would make more sense for her to hire someone to do household chores (at a living wage!) so that she could spend more time keeping people from fucking dying. And then spend her well-earned off-time kicking back with a drink with an umbrella in it.
But it really comes down to this.
Did Kishimoto draw Naruto mowing the lawn? Did he draw Sasuke washing his clothes in a stream? No, he didn’t, did he?
Ok? THAT’S THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE, OK? DO YOU WONDER WHY?
0/100
Kurotsuchi: literally the only female in the room during the kage conference. She gets a 10/10 but we’ve gone from two female kages and three female bodyguards as of the fourth war, to one female kage and no female bodyguards. so that’s 10/50.
Cheloneuniverse 