Peter Parker: -on meeting Loki, offers his hand- Hi, I’m Peter!
Loki: -shakes his hand- Loki of Asgard.
Peter: Aren’t you like…a bad guy?
Loki: It varies from moment to moment.
Peter: So like…on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst evil imaginable, like…killing puppies, and one being I’ll spit on your hotdog…where are you right now?
Loki: …maybe a three?
Peter: Cool. Lemme know if it gets above a six.
Loki: -thinking- I like him.
It had been a joke, a flippant line, but somehow, Loki found himself taking the youth up on it.
It was hard living around these heroic Avengers, hard trying to stay close to Thor. And when he felt his need for mischief rise too high, when he felt exasperation with these Midgardians turn too close to spite, he would casually say “Six.” to the young man, or sometimes “Seven.”
And Peter would spend the rest of his day with Loki. He would badger him with questions about magic, or drag him across his beloved city to see its entertainments, or take him along stopping petty crimes. He grounded Loki to the here and now, and distracted him from the churning, jagged shards of ice in his mind.
tony: not naming names but if Some People, [looks pointedly at the guardians of the galaxy] Actually did their JOB, thanos wouldnt even have gotten to earth
gamora: well if Some People [looks pointedly at thor] didnt let their little brother steal an infinity stone and wreak havok, thanos wouldnt have even have cared about earth
everyone: [incomprehensible yelling]
steve: GUYS Stop! youre All forgetting something……….Tony also put an infinity stone in his stupid ass robot
Pre war Bucky was a gay icon who protected closeted lesbians by picking them up for dates to avoid their parents suspicion and then taking them to hang out with their girlfriends (but staying close enough that he could punch the daylights out of any fucko who tried to harass them). This is canon.
James Buchanan Barnes on his last night before deployment, chaperoning two lesbian nerds on their date to the science fair.
Bucky could have just told Steve the real reason the girls were never into him, he’d have been cool with it.
I guess he just kept saying “double date” and hoping Steve would get the damn hint already.
Bruce has set up a makeshift lab in Wakanda, while the world takes stock of their dead and Wakanda mourns for their king. Bruce isn’t doing anything important, but he needs to do something, so he studies Wakanda’s vibranium supply and attempts to keep Shuri busy.
Otherwise, the grief might just be too much for the both of them to bear.
Bruce also tries very hard not to think about Tony and what form of matter Tony may or may not be at this very moment. He’s only moderately successful.
It’s on the third day of the second week after half of the world has turned to ash that Thor brings Bruce a little green snake. Bruce is baffled, but he tried to be polite about it. Bruce is heartsick, though, so that makes everything a little harder.
Then Thor asks for Bruce to see if the snake is Loki, and it takes every bit of willpower Bruce Banner poses to not burst into tears. Thor is so strong and so keen to smile, he makes it so easy for everyone to forget that he has lost nearly everything.
Bruce pokes at the snake without any further complaints. When nothing happens, the grief on Thor’s face is unimaginable.
Bruce begins spending time with both Thor and Shuri, in a desperate attempt to combat his own grief by combatting theirs.
All the while, every second or third day, Thor brings Bruce a small green animal and asks Bruce to see if it his lost brother. Bruce checks every time, with care and precision, but the result is always negative. It’s awful for both of them, but Thor can’t seem to stop and Bruce doesn’t know how to make him.
This pattern holds for a few weeks, until Thor brings Bruce a beaten and battered lizard. It’d been burned somehow and it looked like one of its limbs had been badly broken. When Thor presents it to him, Bruce honestly isn’t sure if Thor had just brought the little thing to Bruce to see if it could be saved.
“Could you check?” Thor asks, the question quiet and hurt after so many weeks of negative results from Bruce’s prodding and poking.
“Of course,” Bruce says softly, adding his portion of the call and response.
He gingerly picks up the lizard, as the poor also looks like he’d been through the wringer, and gives him a quick once over. Bruce’d been right about the broken leg and the burns were pretty –
The lizard fucking turns into Loki. A damaged, burnt Loki who scuttles backward on a broken leg while spitting blood.
Thor bursts into tears. Bruce bursts out laughing. Everyone has their own way of processing grief and shock and grief turned into shock, apparently.
It’s later, when they’ve gotten Loki a little patched up, convinced Okoye not to kill Loki (”He tried to destroy the world!” she says – “He’s gotten better,” Bruce says), and Thor’s eyes were mostly dry, that Loki finally says through clenched, bloodied teeth:
“They’re in a pocket dimension.”
“Who?” Bruce whispers, stunned.
“Everyone. I told him he’d never be a god. He was just a warlord playing at being something powerful. He should’ve fucking listened.”
Say, Thanos, I recall you telling your adopted space daughter (who you routinely abused, by the way) that her home planet of Zehoberei was now thriving because you killed half its population – including her birth mother – because ‘balance was restored’.
Do you know what I think about that?
I think it’s nothing more than a
BIG
FAT
LIE!!!
So apparently her planet prospered to the point everyone spontaneously died? Troll-logic yourself out of that one, you insane oversized prune.
Welll… TECHNICALLY he would point out that
No one is starving on that world
The crime rate is reduced to zero
The economy is very stable.
Pollution is no longer a problem.
It’s all in the spin….
In some biological experiments with flour beetles, they studied chaos in populations, by placing the beetles in an environment where all their needs were met in a finite environment, and after a certain point they would remove a percentage of adults (because larvae and pupae were slightly harder to collect) to simulate a mass die off, and from around fifty percent in some cases and up in a few studies caused massive uncontrolled population growth, or massive uncontrolled population decline causing the beetle cultures to collapse.
It’s very likely that Gamora’s people suffered a massive population crash after Thanos “Saved the Planet”, and now that he’s had the infinity gauntlet and won, you can expect the rest of the universe to follow suit in to chaos, either extreme population growth in some places, and massive death and huge power imbalances in others.
Thanos did not save the universe, he made it worse.
Here’s a source, but you can find many more articles like this on Google Scholar if you enter in “Flour Beetle chaos population dynamics” or “bifurcation analysis of beetle dynamics”
dont ask people this question. It’s just… not right. youre asking someone to relieve you of your guilt.
she is a jewish romani woman turned into a christian nazi volunteer. her actress has repeatedly used a slur to describe her. make of that what you will.
Tony Stark
• manufactured weapons and profited off people’s deaths
• decided to stop only when his own safety was disrupted
• made fun of Bruce turning into Hulk, knowing it was not the kind of a joke Bruce would enjoy
• made fun of Steve being frozen for 70 years, knowing it was not the kind of a joke Steve would enjoy
• made fun of the fact that Nick Fury had only one eye, knowing it was not the kind of a joke Nick would enjoy
• made a rape joke
• created Ultron
• kept the fact that he was creating Ultron in secret, although the Avengers deserved to know it
• laughed when it turned out that Ultron was about to destroy the world
• after his first attempt at creating Ultron had gone horribly wrong, he decided to create another, more powerful version of Ultron, having no idea whether it would be on their side
• and he did it in secret again
• after the creation of Ultron resulted in many deaths, it took a woman to confront him about it for him to start feeling guilty about it
• instead of owning up to his mistake and trying to make up for it properly, he guilt trips Avengers into “being responsible” and signing the Accords (as if it weren’t him and only him who continuously messed everything up and who needed supervision)
• called Wanda Maximoff a weapon of mass destruction
• locked Wanda Maximoff in the house with Vision, preferring not to ask for her consent or even warn her beforehand
• brought Peter Parker, a 14 year old child, into a fight with highly skilled adults who could have easily killed him
• didn’t even tell him what the fight was about and purposefully manipulated him into not listening to Steve or anyone else on his team by saying that they’re just wrong
• ignored Steve’s warning about Zemo’s plan and about many more Winter Soldiers out there
• started the fight with Team Cap, yet acted like he was betrayed
• blasted Sam Willson away after his team tried to kill him and accidentally hurt Rhodey, when Sam got down to say he was SORRY (for not dying?)
• yet wasn’t shown to be even remotely angry at Vision
• fought so hard for the accords (which even led to Avengers being imprisoned in the Raft under horrible conditions), broke the rules in about three days to go after Steve and Bucky
• knowing that Bucky was brainwashed and tortured and didn’t control himself when he killed Tony’s parents, still tried to kill him
• after he blasted Bucky’s arm off, and Steve picked him up to leave, he started screaming about how “his father made that shield” and how “Steve didn’t deserve it” (when from the very beginning it was Tony who was starting things, and Steve was defending himself and his friend)
• made sexual comments about Aunt May in front of Peter to make him uncomfortable
• after giving Peter hope that he’d become an Avenger one day, Tony ignored him and didn’t show any interest in what he was doing, letting Peter, a CHILD, think that he’d just have to be “good enough”, which was the reason Peter got into a lot of dangerous things
• installed an instant kill mode in Peter’s suit
• installed a bud into Peter’s suit without his permission or knowledge
• gave no indication that he actually listened to Peter when he told him about the villains, sent FBI to fight against Chitauri weapons (which would have been a suicide mission) and later, finding out that it didn’t work out, showed up, blaming Peter that he didn’t have faith in him
• took away Peter’s suit for no reason but the fact that Peter didn’t think Tony would have listened and decided to save hundreds of lives himself (what a hideous thing to do)
• later wanted Peter, a 15 year old, to join the Avengers and live with him, obviously hiding the whole thing from his legal guardian.
ok not to post a whole ass thinkpiece but. marvel is really obviously behind the times with having tony stark be the “heart” of the avengers because his kind of “fuck it, i’ll do what i want” style of masculinity is just. outdated at this point. like i definitely think as a culture in 2008 we were more open to reading that as fun and endearing, but over the past 10 years (and the last 2 or 3 in particular) that douchey-but-in-a-cool-way masculinity has really started to show itself as toxic in so many ways….
anyway. i think that if marvel let their writers have time to get closer with characters and somehow incentivized good storytelling we probably would have seen tony either a) pass the torch of true leadership to another avenger a while ago or b) grow more as a character and become a different kind of leader himself
tldr my hypothesis is that tony stark is becoming unpopular and stale not only because marvel films have less than stellar character dev, but because his kind of “rich douche who does whatever he wants with style” masculinity has ceased to be charming in our cultural climate
#and tchalla and peter’s kindness is the new heart of the marvel universe
^^^^^^^^^^^
Thor’s too. Thor’s immediate gentleness, willingness to learn, his open hearted way of loving, his big arms
Avengers: Huh, it’s been a while since Thor’s been back, hope he isn’t too confused about all of our new members and what’s been going on.
Thor: *flying into battle with an axe* Hey everyone nice to meet ya by the way I’ve brought back Banner also meet my friends Rabbit and Tree I’ll introduce you to my space team and my friend throckmorton and my personal drunk hero later at the family dinner xoxoxo oh yeah also made up with loki watched him die but he could also be that random green snake right there, lost an eye gained an eye lost my hammer gained an axe also the rest of Asgard and I need to crash with one of you because *jean ralphio voice* tECHNICALLY I’M HOMELESSSSSSS
Cheloneuniverse 