If my kids were magic, I would want the school to have Eliot Spencer teaching DADA not Snape.
Also because Eliot is like the best mom-type in the whole wide world.
Eliot would either not let you get away with anything or make that disgruntled sigh and help you with what ever it was you were up to while bitching about how your performing your mischief wrong the whole time
Eliot would totally be that teacher that also showed the kids how to deal with dark wizards with a knife, books and whatever else you could get your hands on before they even cast a spell.
Now I’m thinking he’s not DADA but something like herbology, just to surprise people.
I expanded on the idea over on my twitter, the basic plot being “the Leverage Crew has to unravel a conspiracy at Hogwars by pretending to be teachers, despite none of them actually having any magic” and yeah, yeah it’s basically all of this.
Like, the big plot twist would be Eliot ACTUALLY IS A WIZARD but he still thinks teaching his students martial arts in DADA is more effective than memorizing countercurses.
Other highlighs:
Hardison invents assistive devices for squibs & starts writing his own custom spells by dissecting spell linguistics and breaking them down like programming.
Parker gains a reputation in transfiguration – “She can make ANYTHING disappear!!”
Nate looks over all the low-magic classes he could pose as the teacher for, throws that list aside, and decides he’s gonna teach Charms despite having 0 magic.
Sophie is actually a squib from a pureblood family that’s why nobody can fucking figure out her origin story
If my kids were magic, I would want the school to have Eliot Spencer teaching DADA not Snape.
Also because Eliot is like the best mom-type in the whole wide world.
Eliot would either not let you get away with anything or make that disgruntled sigh and help you with what ever it was you were up to while bitching about how your performing your mischief wrong the whole time
Eliot would totally be that teacher that also showed the kids how to deal with dark wizards with a knife, books and whatever else you could get your hands on before they even cast a spell.
Now I’m thinking he’s not DADA but something like herbology, just to surprise people.
I expanded on the idea over on my twitter, the basic plot being “the Leverage Crew has to unravel a conspiracy at Hogwars by pretending to be teachers, despite none of them actually having any magic” and yeah, yeah it’s basically all of this.
Like, the big plot twist would be Eliot ACTUALLY IS A WIZARD but he still thinks teaching his students martial arts in DADA is more effective than memorizing countercurses.
Other highlighs:
Hardison invents assistive devices for squibs & starts writing his own custom spells by dissecting spell linguistics and breaking them down like programming.
Parker gains a reputation in transfiguration – “She can make ANYTHING disappear!!”
Nate looks over all the low-magic classes he could pose as the teacher for, throws that list aside, and decides he’s gonna teach Charms despite having 0 magic.
Sophie is actually a squib from a pureblood family that’s why nobody can fucking figure out her origin story
I wonder if they have a leverage support group in prison for the people the crew has sent to jail. A bunch of old CEOS yelling at each other.
“ THEY WHERE CONSULTANTS ”
What I like best about this is that we know Eliot doesn’t commit hair-trigger violence over minor things – if someone bumps into him and spills his coffee he’s likely to be annoyed, but he’s not going to automatically break their arms.
Which means that what’s happening here is Hardison, in bringing up the coffee, is giving Eliot explicit permission to break arms, and Eliot is playing into it. And the only real reason for playing into the coffee schtick is that it will amuse Hardison.
Watching Leverage can be a trip and a half. Especially because, like, how do all these people even find them? I mean, it’s kind of handwaved as Hardison’s computer algorithms and stuff finding them, but even so. And then! several people don’t want money, they want things like a horse, or even immaterial things like getting someone their self-esteem back. That’s some next-level shit right there.
Like, making deals with with the Fair Folk or demons type stuff.
Which means that the Leverage crew would be the demons/Fair Folk/supernatural entities having desperate people summon them, probably as a last-ditch desperation move they didn’t think would work.
Sophie is some sort of UnSeelie. She follows her rules and values manners and dispenses her kindnesses as she sees fit. Do not test her. You will not win.
Parker is a changeling, maybe. Or Seelie. Or maybe she’s just Parker, the only one of her kind. She hasn’t decided yet.
Nate is Human. An almost priest who hates himself and all his flaws and weaknesses while at the same time completely convinced of his own superiority. In the beginning anyway.
Eliot would have died years ago buy some unkind spirit liked his anger and blessed him and now he’s this sort of proto-god of soldiers who’s countries used them up and betrayed their ideals. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Hardison is something new. There is no word for him. He’s making a new world in which he will rule and he has no need at this time for a name or title.
When you cross the Threshold, you become something Other.
Fair Folk? Demigods? Archetypes? Perhaps.
The Threshold is always different. But when you return from it … you never really return. You are always Other. You are always Outside.
For those five, the Threshold was the warehouse explosion in the first episode.
And on the other side … no more petty cons and grifts. No more squalid thuggery. They have crystallized, become Archetypes: Grifter. Hacker. Hitter. Thief. Mastermind. Small gods? Perhaps, but most certainly Powers, dancing with ease on “alternative revenue streams” and even weirder magics.
Listen to their catch phrases. These are conjure words.
Strange promises, barely comprehensible to their beneficiaries, whispering of justice in an unjust world, payment deferred or refused, because the true coin of their trade is payback.
So, seven episodes in, and I have many feelings about Leverage, and Eliot who cooks and loves horses and has hair and flashbacks straight out of a bad 80’s action movie, and Parker who’s Extremely Neurotypical (so fucking autistic but not in the usual TV ways) and fantastic, and Hardison with his sass and his visual aids and his geek pride and his endless UST with Parker, and even about sweet Sophie, the world’s worst actress ever.
Unfortunately, I think most of my feels are for Nate Ford, because never have I gone from 0 to crossover OT3 so fast as I have with Nate/Will Schuester/eaten by a shark.
I need Will and Nate to meet in a bar and bitch all night about the ungrateful slobs they rescued from the gutter, while said ungrateful slobs hang out together, and Parker gives Brittany lessons in, like, everything, while Santana terrifies Eliot with her attitude and her breasts until he teaches her knife tricks. And Will and Nate end the night as drunken messes, possibly caught out on the street corner in the snow without their pants.
@lynne-monstr: “I want the entire backstory fic about longsuffering insurance investigator nate”
For real Lynne, you cannot tell me there weren’t days where Nate and Sterling held onto their professional aplomb by the skin of their desperate teeth. Nobody’s born with that level of unflappability, that shit was hard-earned. They have Seen Things. Sterling once went out to wait for the elevator down from the twentieth floor and saw some skinny blonde chick freefalling past the window in a meter-maid outfit. Nate spent an hour interviewing a man who’d just had his jaw wired shut, trying to decipher his descriptions of the man who broke it, only to realize that what the man was trying to say was “he was so helpful, such good life advice, and his hair was perfect”. That’s not the kind of thing you just shrug off.
They stood by while security footage from six museums in four countries came in to show that the same woman stole all the sculptures in the same weekend–the same woman in the same clothes but maybe slightly different jewelry (and that one hat) and yet somehow she seems like a different person in every shot? And by ‘stole’ the museums actually mean ‘somehow convinced us to sign them over. We insured the shipping for her. Through your company.’ They nodded and reassured the museum curators, ah yes, she does that, perfectly understandable, happens all the time, but as soon as the curators leave they collapse against the desk together. How the fuck does this keep happening. Devereaux walked right past them last week, and they didn’t notice because she had glasses on. This is some Clark Kent level bullshit, they are meant to be better than this. They need a drink.
Cheloneuniverse 