cywscross:

cooliogirl101:

meglepetesblog:

handsoffthegoodstuff:

gotham-mother-of-monsters:

handsoffthegoodstuff:

but what about a crack au fic in which sawada tsuna and kongo agon become bffs

Like what if when moretti (was that his name? the guy who pretends to be a corpse) turned up and did his thing, tsuna’s reaction to it was panic af on the inside, but all bsns on the outside? So much to reborn’s delight he just picks the body and goes to the next city over to dispose of it, and that’s where the kongos are vacationing that summer and agon just happens to see tsuna throwing a body into the river or smth

and then tsuna sees moretti waking up to swim to the shore and is like FUCK? WHAT IS GOING ON and reborn hands him a gun (because of course) and tsuna doesn’t know how to shoot and agon steps in like lemme show you how that goes and moretti almost dies and reborn is like opsy daisy, shit happens lmao.

and while agon thinks tsuna is some badass mafioso undercover (i mean not entirely wrong) tsuna thinks that agon is a super helpful fella with bad fashion sense (only half of that is wrong) and they just hit it off for some reason and by the time they actually figure each other out it’s been too many years to back out of that friendship anymore.

just gimme that pls

that’s it. I’m dead. you killed me with this I knew it would happen one day.

but can you imagine the friendship shenanigans that would have to go on for that reaction to be so delayed? agon doesn’t realize tsuna’s really a wimp who badly wants this mafia business to GO AWAY and tsuna doesn’t cotton on to the fact that agon is the type to beat the shit of a random passerby for looking at him wrong BUT IT SOMEHOW STILL WORKS

they have each other’s phone numbers and agon texts tsuna whenever he’s bored (often) and he always manages to sound like a serial killer but tsuna just…? goes with it? bc he’s so used to Reborn-level-insanity that Kongo-crazy hardly registers as something to be concerned about?

I bet you tsuna shows up at agon’s place one day like, “I need to lay low for a little while.” and agon assumes he’s hiding from the aftermath of a seriously violent crime (so ofc he says “hell yeah, come in, my shitty bro’s cookin’ tonight and he won’t squeal on us” and then they play videogames and tsuna has so much practice that he kicks agon’s ass all over the place and agon nearly smashes his controller out of frustration)

but really everyone is crowding at tsuna’s house and it’s so loud and he feels like everything’s spiraling out of control and he needs a break dammit so he takes off to have a sleepover with his friend (this is how he destresses. by hanging with kongo agon. look at your life tsuna look at your choices)

and can you picture unsui trying to make sense of this? because I can and I’m dyingggg

he arrives. his brother has skeeved off yet another football practice and he’s got a lecture all ready to go but the words die in his mouth because there is his brother on the couch making his i’m about to fuck you up face and sitting next to him, literally within murdering distance, is a middle schooler, who is laughing. nervously laughing. but still.

what the fuck, he thinks. did agon kidnap this kid? how. why. can i put him back before someone calls the police? why isn’t he screaming? what the ffffffff

and agon finds the tiniest shred of chill and announces, “this is tsuna, unko-chan. he’s staying with us for a while. don’t tell anyone you saw him here or else.”

and unsui is poker face super calm on the outside but on the inside is this constant panicked monologue of, ohgodohgod kidnapping’s a felony there’s no way agon’s getting away with this we don’t have money for bail the nagas are never getting the winter cup with agon in jail for abducting a minor oh fuck

as time goes on he’s just so bewildered by how polite tsuna is. it becomes apparent that he’s obviously agon’s friend (how. he didn’t know agon was even capable of maintaining friendships) but he’s so nice and offers to help with dinner and cleans up after himself and doesn’t even look a little intimidated when agon offers (orders) him into his own bedroom to sleep that night.

how. he thinks. how????

and none of tsuna’s friends know agon by anything but word (tsuna’s word, specifically. reborn sniggers in the background and doesn’t comment) so they have a very FLAWED picture of him and the first time they meet in person it is a total Disaster

and i’m just picturing them exchanging gifts for some reason (WHITE DAY???) and tsuna gave agon some baked goods cause he had extras or whatever and that’s a thing you do for friends, right? he’s not 100% clear on this because he hasn’t had many but gokudera cried and yamamoto seemed very pleased so maybe?? and then agon gives him brass knuckles in return and tsuna is like. “thank you?? how are they my size??” bc tsuna is smol but mighty and agon just says “che! I got the pair for girls.” kinda sneering, totally not embarrassed about how much time he spends looking at tsuna’s hands and thinking about his very delicate fingers or how he’d like to maybe hold hands and see how they feel laced between his own wait shit

I’m a flawed individual IT’S YOUR FAULT OKAY?

IT’S 5:22 AM AND I WAS IN BED BUT THEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE AND THE MORE I READ THE MORE PUMPED I GOT AND I KNEW I HAD TO ACTUALLY GET TO MY LAPTOP BECAUSE BAE WE GOT SHIT TO DISCUSSSSSS!!!

oh my god i love every fucking word you wrote and my thirst for this fic is REAL. PLEASE, I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN.

AND LIKE, THE PROBLEM IS, THAT IT’S NOT LIKE AGON IS WRONG TO ASSUME THAT TSUNA IS A BADASS WHO FREQUENTLY ENGAGES IN CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES. He just overestimates Tsuna’s willingness to partake in those activities.

IMAGINE THO AGON BEATING SOMEONE UP AND INSTEAD OF BEING TOO SHOCKED TSUNA IS JUST RELIEVED LIKE “well at least nobody blew anything up, nobody was stabbed, shot or otherwise maimed aside from bruising. Great job, Good Guy Agon ™” and idk if Unsui is there but if he is, he’d be like ??????? HOW CAN YOU MISREAD SOMEONE SO BADLY????

And omg omg omg yes the texting. Agon gets msgs from Tsuna about shit like “ugh i hate being poisoned” (thanks Bianchi) and “flames are actually really hard to control, lol” and “I hate using guns. I don’t like weapons in general” (by which Tsuna means “if i gotta fight, i prefer my gloves” and which Agon understands as “guns are too impersonal, let me USE MY BARE HANDS TO FUCK THEM UP”).

AND YES. COMPARED TO REBORN (or almost anyone, really) KONGO-CRAZY AINT SO BAD. Tsuna watching one of Agon’s games and then being like “You’ve got really fast reflexes. One of my friends is a bit like that, actually. He can swing a sword so fast it can cut through bones. I mean rock. ROCK. It can cut through rock.”

Unsui & Tsuna’s interaction *weeps* Tsuna is just happy to see that his Civilian Friend, Good Guy Agon ™ has a really polite brother who truly is super nice and look at how hard-working and dedicated he is. How sweet. AND THEN TSUNA MEETS MORE AMEFUTO PLAYERS AND CAN YOU IMAGINE PEOPLE ASKING LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS AND UNSUI IS LIKE LISTEN, DON’T ASK. DON’T STARE. DON’T EVEN THINK. JUST ROLL WITH IT. AND TSUNA LOOKS AT HIRUMA’S GUNS AND IS LIKE OH PHEW, NORMAL BULLETS NBD.

AND I KNOW I SHOULDN’T USE THIS MUCH CAPSLOCK BUT AGON THINKING ABOUT TSUNA’S HANDS AND AAAAHHHH im cry

OMG! This AU is beautful!

But imagine Agon very briefly meeting with the Varia and  Tsuna is like “Oh, yeah… . Sometimes they try to kill me out of habit. But they are my allies and Xanxus is my far relative so… Ugh why can’t I have nice relatives like Unsui??”

Plus Reborn sure as hell would make Tsuna play Amefuto with his dying will at lleast once!!

Filed under “things I didn’t even know I needed until I came across it”

I adore this. And Hiruma is just so weirded out by this fluffy-looking brat who looks just like his running back but isn’t scared of him at all. Like, this kid knows his guns are real but he’s RELIEVED and he dodges all of Hiruma’s bullets like he’s totally used to it and is so chill with it and like WTF THAT IS NOT NORMAL WHAT IS UP WITH THIS CHIBI HE’S FRIENDS WITH AGON.

And then somehow they become friends too, and Agon’s just. so. jealous.