Anonymous asked: NSFW? Obviously we need some ridiculously explicit JohnKat of the ridiculously explicit nature. I’m talkin’ Karkat bent over a counter with John tappin’ dat ass hard enough to rattle Karkat’s teeth.
At home, Karkat usually tops.
But when John’s at work, if Karkat comes storming into his office screaming, Karkat gets, ah, punished.
John has not yet realized that Karkat comes storming into his office screaming to get punished.
(How is John going to explain the claw marks in his desk to his boss.)
Okay so like you have all these followers right, and you never actually TALK to most of them but like you KNOW certain names really well because they are always liking or reblogging your art. There are a bunch of names that I have consistently seen for a while now and I’m like wow thank you, silent friend person liker thing. I DON’T DESERVE YOU. You deserve something.
I’m gonna guess you all like Johnkat because you’re following me so here’s some johnkat JUST FOR YOU. And if not, and you’re just following me for my art then wow, let me lay you down in a pile of roses and caress your face, you wonderful sons of bitches.
And now I’m gonna call a bunch of you silent (and some not-so-silent) bbs out for being so consistently great.
copperzealot, glasseskat, suunes, imorb, klinki, sex-drugs-ragtime, meepzielicious, mispurr-brightside, cm8x-insanity, kaskei, future-john-cosplayer (I always wonder- have you cosplayed john yet?), thelastdokoro, tamagus, michisama2030, pearlgirl710, tsume817, oceanumi-chanowo, maihyuga, 2candalou2, demisexuals-unite, aslytherinsuperwholockian, saint-joy, karcutiepatootie, the-mad-valkyrie, beepbeepkat, otenbahmeenah, fandomcalling, usage-is-a-fucking-italian-fangir, 2091-shadow-mew, thepaigeofhope, pufflebug, prussianvenom, timetravelingphonebox, johnkatier, johnkateer, maid-of-johnkat, kaurawr, grimdarkmatt, afriendlyamphibian, jakeenglishbootyshorts, tychiiscanon, youcanstayinmyheart, johnanddavepluseight, its-john-egbert-ok, and I’ve probably accidentally forgotten a couple. ^__^;
He didn’t try to send anything, just sat there, trying not to think. Karkat’s mind prodded at his, more to see if he’d move than trying to get in.
Ahhhh, look at my sad little fanart for Battlefield Terra by Askerian. This picture does not do it justice, not at all. I plan on doing better fanarts in the future, though, and not a wimpy speed doodle. uwu; I really wanna draw John in his Warhammer mech~
So sometimes when you’re hosting an alien, unintended things will happen. Alarmingly, hilariously unintended.
Like Karkat getting drunk on lemon sherbet.
Turns out the aliens have a kind of guts that turns sugar straight into alcohol, and usually it’s not enough that John has ever noticed Karkat acting tipsy, but lemon sherbet is hells of sugary.
John nods in all the right places as Karkat talks at him at lenght in a hilarious mix of alienese and mangled English, and admires with all due attention the scribbles Karkat is making on all the paper napkins he could grab in a single fist (a lot of them), and when Karkat wobbles while getting up he wraps his arm around his shoulders to keep him steady.
Then Karkat lets out this hilariously drawn out “ah, well” sigh and slumps against John’s side, and John ruffles his hair, once, teasingly.
He ends up with his hand hells of sore, because the crickety noises Karkat makes are as adorable as his growls when John stops are worrisome.
Cheloneuniverse 
