kissy kissy kissy
Tag: john egbert
The funniest thing about isolating John’s Karkat fixation from their interactions is that John looks like some kind of obsessed harasser, when it is the OTHER dude who greets him with shit like
– You don’t know me, but I’ve been watching your childhood on pirated surveillance video, and I just wanted to say: I AM YOUR GOD, AND YOU SHALL LOATHE ME AND DESPAIR….. Anyway, here’s my number, call me maybe?
– Wow, I wasn’t expecting to see you here! It’s as if you were physically summoned by the patterns of ground-in masturbation stains on my underpants!
– Hi! So, uh, just in case you’ve been wondering, I’d like to assure you that I HAVEN’T been constantly yearning for you since the last time we met. You don’t have to worry whatsoever that I’ve been entertaining fantasies of the way your eyes shine when you laugh, or the way your lips feel when you kiss me, or the way your muscles bunch over your shoulders as you lift me against the wall… Welp, I’m glad to get that out of the way so there won’t be any reason for awkwardness between us!
almost canon homestuck theatre
JOHN: i can’t believe i accidentally turned you gay!
DAVE: no thats not
DAVE: how it works thats not how anything works
JOHN: so….. did you kiss karkat?
DAVE: thats not
DAVE: um
JOHN: because that is what i would do if i accidentally turned *myself* gay with timey-wimey shenanigans.
JOHN: oh well! maybe next time.
DAVE: i
DAVE: okay im starting to think raw force of ramble just isnt gonna be enough to propel us over this conversation
DAVE: maybe we need to park the topic carefully on the side of awkward mountain and come back for it after loading up the xkcd ideas to simple words translator
JOHN: …how would you know about that?
DAVE: how would I know about all sorts of future junk
DAVE: pls lets not add to the stupid question pile, its wobbling like the french alps during avalanche season after those last brain nuggets you tossed up there
DAVE: im frightened
Alone at the edge of a universe
humming a tune
Decided to make this after my previous post on the matter.
SON, WHY WON’T YOU EAT THIS CAKE I MADE ESPECIALLY FOR YOU? WHY WOULD YOU HURT YOUR FATHER’S FEELINGS LIKE THIS? JONATHAN EAT THIS CAKE RIGHT NOW.
dad get out you’re ruining my life!!! i’m not going to eat your fucking cake, get out!
WE DO NOT CURSE IN THIS HOUSE JONATHAN. EAT YOUR CAKE.
no! you can’t make me!
EAT YOUR CAKE SON, YOU WON’T GROW ANY TALLER IF YOU DON’T EAT YOUR CAKE.
that doesn’t even make sense!!! stop it dad get out!!!!!
Oh no
*drowns in vast tide of feels*
(Source)
Happy Birthday you prankmasters UuU
Pfffffft, this is just great in every way!
John throwing bucket on Jane like Nannasprite did with him, Jane throwing a pie in his face just like Nannasprite did with him, their shirt expressions, and then both Dad’s standing there, pfffff
If B1 Roxy is Grandpa Jake’s adoptive daughter, that means Jade is her niece and thus Jade and Rose are cousins.
Also it means Dad is B1 Roxy’s cousin, which makes John and Rose second cousins.
Cheloneuniverse 