ay am i the only one who thinks the hint button belongs to scratch? cause it really seems like it when you read all of it (it changes when you get to alternia) and i think we should be talking about how that perfectly matches scratch’s meta abilities
joey decides that she can’t trust her dad the day he brings jude home from the hospital. he said mommy and i are going to the hospital, and when we come back it’ll be the three of us plus a baby! and joey was genuinely excited for this new development. she got to stay home with her cool babysitter, who was thirteen and ordered pizza and let her watch the dark crystal. halfway through the movie, the phone rang and her babysitter answered it while joey picked the pepperoni off of her slice and stole some of the olives off of roxy’s. her mom always said that vegetables would make her grow strong, after all.
when her babysitter came back into the room, her eyes were red and she hugged joey for a long time before resuming the movie. they didn’t really talk that night, and the next day, her dad came back with baby jude, but not her mom.
trying to understand concepts like “your mother died in childbirth due to a freak aneurysm and the doctor had to cut her open in order to retrieve your brother” was kind of difficult at four years old. and because she was still a small child with limited rationale and extreme amounts of trauma, joey decided that the real reason her mother wasn’t coming back was because her father was a lying piece of shit.
also on the topic of dancestors—are ancestors & descendants as much as parent/child in biological terms or imperfect clones (siblings???) of each other spanning through the centuries? i see a lot of oversimplification (“well porrim is just kanaya’s MOM”) that doesn’t actually make sense given our prior knowledge about trolls as a species, and i’m not sure if there’s been any actual meta/theory about this within the fandom
trolls asking “what’s ur hemotype?” is such a funny concept to me. “hey u haven’t blushed yet or secreted any bodily fluids and none of your clothes are indicative of your status or those of your quadrants, so like…where do u fall on our oppressive biology based caste system?” absolutely wild
i mean sure w/ trollian these kids PROBABLY have solid ideas of who’s who, but i need y’all to consider like, a goldblood catfishing people pretending to be an indigo. “yeah? send some boondollars to my account and then we can meet chitinous nub to chitinous nub, big boy ;)” types a particularly bored beekeeper. they receive 2000 boons from the seadweller who thinks they’re getting a kismesis. the gold immediately blocks their IP address, deletes their account, and blows up their computer. a perfect crime.
idk what’s more appealing to me, trolls that LOOK super alien (insectoid, face pinchers, antenna and vestigial arms on their chests), or trolls that are basically gray humans that are completely sociologically different in every way shape and form. the first one is like, more biologically plausible given what we know about troll reproduction alone (they’re bugs! they reproduce through an ‘incestuous slurry’ and don’t have families as much as random near clones [descendants/ancestors]), but the second one is just funny as hell bc…cultural discrepancies among aliens & humans is like, my bread & butter for fanfic
Cheloneuniverse 