anyway, remus straight up researched neville for this and they say sirius is the petty one.
Tag: harry potter
I have zero self control so here have three things I am writing for my ‘secret’ AO3
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Lord Voldemort, Orion mused, silently nursing his drink as he watched the red-eyed man charm his wife and brother-in-law at the same time. His gazed slid to the left, unwilling to stare long enough to be drawn into the conversation, to the wall where his other brother-in-law was standing. Alphard does not like him.
It wasn’t a surprise nor really was it unexpected, the Malfoy’s annual gala allowed only certain people from a particular standing which for Alphard, whom took great joy in traveling and the vast variety of people he met during them, was boring at best and dreadfully tedious at worse.
Or, at least, Orion noted as Alphard deftly avoided being drawn into the conversation by his siblings in order to head towards where Orion was seated. That was the worse before this ‘Lord Voldemort’.
Because his brother-in-law was conscious of the need to cultivate amiable relationships for future allies too much to not even attempt a civil conversation regardless of how much a particular person irritated him.
“You did not speak with him.” Orion says in place of a greeting as his brother-in-law sits across from him.
— in one world Alphard Black told Orion Black that Voldemort would lead to the fall of their House and Orion did not believe him, leading to the loss of the Black name.
This is not that world.
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The time between a voice saying “Kill the spare.” and the green bolt of magic connecting seemed to take both a long time and a short time.
The seconds went too swiftly for Cedric to regain his bearings enough to dodge, but those moments stretched long enough to hold a lifetime.
Certainly long enough for Cedric to recall his.
— in the time before death, Cedric Diggory sees his life flash before his eyes
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Once, when Charlie was young, he saw the death of a dragon. He saw the great creature docile and small, watching the skies yet resigned to never fly.
Once, when Charlie was young, he saw a free creature caged – until death finally set it free. He decided that he would not suffer such things, yet it wasn’t always easy when his definition of a cage changed as he grew.
— As he grows and learns Charlie Weasley learns that there are all kinds of cages and ways one can be trapped. He learns that, sometimes, you have to fight for your freedom even if no one can see the chains on you.
Especially when no one can see the chains.
If he were honest, after everything – dragons, egg, hostages, merfolk, no Quidditch, mazes and blast-ended skrewts – he was quite ready for everything to be done and the TriWizard Tournament to finally be over. And of course he’s wrong, because of course the portkey tied to the Goblet of Fire misfires and send them somewhere that was decidedly not Hogwarts.
Well, Cedric thinks, at least no one’s dead – yet.
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AKA: the Cedric Lives! AU wherein the portkey has a magical misfire that sends them to somewhere NOT the graveyard -possibly a different world/universe entirely?- and Cedric is Done™.
Okay but, I can imagine that at first Cedric is still a bit freaked out and worrying on how they’re going to get home. But then there’s Harry bloody Potter who has faced Voldemort, a basilisk, an innocent convict and has had to deal with the shit that is fourth year. He is done, nothing can surprise him anymore, he just can’t find it in himself to give a single f*ck.
But depending on where they end up, they’ll either be subjected to a saving-the-world plot or just general craziness. Questions is on what world do they end up, because you know that Harry is going to drag them both into a mess.
Honestly, at the moment I am not in for MCU simply because I am currently in that fandom. Just them being “what no we’re not superheroes we just have magic and morals”
Or maybe a video game world like the Final Fantasy or Legend of Zelda franchises.
Or maybe they wind up in an AU, like Harry Potter world but a No Powers AU combined with a Apocalypse AU.
Or maybe in worlds like HTTYD.
Or, or the portkey was unstable (or some other handwavey magic issue) and it propells them into different worlds continually. They’ll pop up and help out or stop characters from making idiotic decisions, staying for a limited amount of time before being whisked off again.
Maybe the reason they keep world hopping is because their magic is trying to bring them back to their original world. But it keeps misfiring or mistaking different worlds for theirs. Their magic does have to replenish, so in worlds with some type of energy/power they get replenished faster.
Alright, now imagine that, by the time they get back to their world – which they don’t immediately realize is their since they land in the graveyard, they are dangerously genre-savvy and have gotten this Saving The World business down to an art form neither of which the Wizarding World – or Voldemort – are prepared for given that they return the exact moment they left.
honestly a world where magic users are actively hunted would be sure interesting–i would also really really love the play of cedric trying to protect harry because he’s older and harry rushing off into danger because he was abused as a child and has a skewed sense of self worth and what’s appropriate for children to take on
but i’ve also just been playing A LOT of witcher 3
(tho dragon age would also be interesting~)
what happened to the tiny little dragon pals that the triwizard champions drew from that bag????? harry mentions it being in the boys dorm later but never mentions it again like ??? if I had a tiny dragon companion i could carry around on my shoulder like a weird, spiky little bird i would literally never let it out of my sight
@loveheartlover: #oh my god#I never even thought about this#imagine charlie coming home for christmas and fleur like sprints upstairs and fetches her teeny dragon#like ‘charlie I know you like ze dragons look’#and charlie promptly adopts the tiny thing and decides bill’s girlfriend is the best person in the world#and then harry fucking gives him another#and charlie just sits on the floor and cries as he cups these tiny little dragons in his hands
Charlie Weasley crying about tiny dragons is my aesthetic.
who adopted cedric’s
Its become the unofficial mascot of Hufflepuff. They each take turns patting and paying it attention and feeding it treats.
yes good
Can we talk about the fact that Sirius Black probably know how to play an instrument?
His family would have most likely required it in order for him to be considered ‘well bred’
I was actually just thinking about this today, and here’s what I came up with:
- Sirius plays violin.
- When the other Marauders catch wind, they transfigure a violin for him as a joke
- They figure that it’ll be funny, that it’ll knock him down a peg– just a peg, mind (it needs doing, on occasion)
- “Haha, punk-rock Sirius black plays classical violin”
- But when they give the violin to him, he gets all quiet
- Remus, who was dubious about the plan from the start, watches with growing concern as Sirius stares at the polished wooden instrument in his lap
- Realizing that memories of cruel words and the crack of wood on skin must be rushing through his boyfriend’s head
- The Marauders wonder for a moment if Sirius will cry or shout or break the instrument over his knee
- But instead a little smile quirks the corner of his mouth
- He lifts the violin to his shoulder
- And he launches into a fiery, wailing reel
- Something wild and entirely muggle
- Something that his parents would vehemently abhor
- And everyone in the common room stops to watch as his bow frays on the strings, just barely keeping up with his left hand, which is nothing but a blur
And that, children, is how leather-jacket-wearing, motorbike-riding, chain-smoking Sirius Black used fiddle music to rebel against his pure-blood family.
Some of my favourite HP concept art.
“Imagine that Voldemort’s powerful now. You don’t know who his supporters are, you don’t know who’s working for him and who isn’t; you know he can control people so that they do terrible things without being able to stop themselves. You’re scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Every week, news comes of more deaths, more disappearances, more torturing… The Ministry of Magic’s in disarray, they don’t know what to do, they’re trying to keep everything hidden from the Muggles, but meanwhile, Muggles are dying too. Terror everywhere… panic… confusion… that’s how it used to be.” Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
The night Lily watched the pregnancy test turning positive. She couldn’t sleep, scared for this new life, way more important than her own now.
Supportive / insurrection Mcgonagall is my favorite. Also still firmly believe that Umbridge is way worse than Voldemort.
More HP goodness on my Patreon!
I think I’m using this right
Sometimes when I’m sad I like to imagine what would happen in a crossover universe between Discworld and Harry Potter, and what Granny Weatherwax would make of their style of magic.
But then I think about more important things, like what would have happened if Granny Weatherwax ever met Albus Dumbledore, and I can’t help but feel a whole lot of shit could have been avoided if he’d had a good clip round the ear and a strong talking to about the whole “my hands are tied” bullshit that enabled years of abuse and suffering at the hands of adults in a position of authority over young, vulnerable people.
Like oh, this spell requires the bond of blood to keep him safe, all right. So that just means we’re not going to hold these adults accountable for their torment and abuse? I think the entire fuck not, Albus.
Snape is a double agent who is actually working for the greater good. All right, but that doesn’t stop him from being an absolute fucking shit weasel who shouldn’t be around children until he learns to control himself and works out his issues in a safe and sane manner, what the fuck, Albus.
You have an entire school system that ascribes to ideas of inherent morality when in fact this is a thing that needs to be taught? Well no wonder there’s one house in particular that keeps going off the rails, you keep telling them they’re evil. Tell people something for long enough they’ll start to believe you. There’s nothing wrong with being selfish and cunning, sometimes that’s what it takes to survive. Teach them how to use those traits for good. As strength. My land, my home, my people (not my daughter, you bitch) how dare you try to hurt them. Teach them, Albus, you have to bloody teach them and realize that evil isn’t born. It’s made. In a thousand small deplorable ways. And it starts with treating people like things and I cannot be having with this.
Of course there’s also the other flipside to this thought process, which is imagining Gytha “Nanny” Ogg shouting “watcher Molly” as she thumps Bellatrix Lestrange on the back of the head with a cauldron, and drops her like a fucking stone. Later they’ll sit together and grieve, later there will be time to pick up the pieces and mourn. But for now there are things to fight for, people to keep alive. And people to keep from doing what they shouldn’t ever have to do, so you find a way to do it for them, by hook, crook or blunt force trauma.
And because my head wont let go of this thought:
“You always was a right little miss,” she said, taking a puff from her pipe and resettling her weight with a hefty bounce as the younger witch struggled to get out from under Nanny’s considerable girth. “Giving yourself airs and graces and such. Pretending you was too good to scrub a pot. Well, let me tell you something, Mistress Lestrange, you ain’t fit for nothing no more except maybe a noose. And if I had my way that might be the end of it. But we don’t do things like that no more, we don’t rule by blood.”
“Then you’re weak,” Lestrange shot back, still struggling to claw her way free. “A weak, old woman with nothing left but tricks up your fat sleeve.”
Nanny puffed in silence for a few more moments, then reached up her sleeve. “And your wand, dearie. Walnut is it? With a dragon heartstring core? Very nice, painting it black was a bit much, but you always were fond of your dramatics.”
She pulled out her own wand, holding it out under Bellatrix’s nose, whose face went cross eyed and then wide with panic.
“You know, I’ve only ever heard of Priori Incantatem,” she said, puffing on the end of her pipe until the pit glowed cherry red then white hot and she exhaled smoke like a dragon, “but I wasn’t about to risk it, not in front of all those kiddies. But I reckon now might be a good time…”
Also, for your consideration. Feegles.
“Haul yoo, aye yoo, the great big ugly gangly scunner wi-oot a nose. Can ye sew? Well stitch this.”
Harry watched in consternation as Voldemort staggered back, dropped to the ground like a ton of bricks and lay still.
“That’s it?” he demanded, lowering his wand. “That’s all you had to do?”
Rob
Anybody, perched on his shoulder, looked up at the young wizard out the
corner of the eye, which was to say he looked him in the nostrils.“Weell,”
he said, gesturing towards the chaos that had been unleashed as the
full force of the Nac Mac Feegle was unleashed upon the band of Death
Eaters, primarily by running up the inside of their trousers. “That’s
the thing about the lads. Once they’ve decided tae dae something, they
dae it good and hard.”“But you just headbutted him!”
“Aye, weill,” Rob said, feeling as though the lad wasn’t quite grasping the practicality of the situation, “he might be a bloody great dark bigjob wizard, but he cannae cast a spell wi-oot a heid.”
Ok but the one I want to see is Dolores Umbridge vs Munstrum Ridcully, becuase that would be the Petty Academic Slapfight of doom.
Because Ridcully, for all his faults, probably understands that the actual learning of magic relies on a certain degree of both freedom and madness and sometimes explosions.
And Umbridge would crawl right up his skin with her concept of a “Defense Against The Dark Arts” Course, and in the middle of a lecture on recent runes, would go on a “tangent” on the history of various dark wizards and the means by which they were defeated and here Why Don’t We Have A Practical Outside, The Weather Is Nice (The weather is not nice. It’s Scotland. In Late November.) But everyone is really curious to see the old man actually take his wand out for once, only to discover that that’s not a wand at all, that’s a Burleigh & Stronginthearm and they’re all going to pass it around and whoever shoots the weathervane off the top of Ravenclaw tower gets 50 points. Hannah Abbot puts a bolt through Umbridge’s window, taking out a kitten plate and gets 100 points.
Fred and George turn the third floor corridor into a Swamp and Umbridge is pleased to hear Ridcully bellowing at the Weasley boys about “BLOODY INSONSIDERATE, NEVER HAVE I EVER MET SUCH WRETCHEDLY-” but the second she’s around the corner it changes to “-brilliant young men, how much is this setup you have here? That potions-master could do with some aggravated moisturizing. Speaking of moisturizing, what would it take to get you two gentlemen to work on the faculty baths? Disgustingly substandard, nowhere to put your nail trimmings-”
Ridcully would like the students there too, I think. Especially the Slytherins, because he’s perfectly aware how important being a cunning bastard and willing to get your hands dirty or bloody if needed is, especially in the world of Magical Academia. They’re socially intelligent and disenchanted with the system, not Evil, Albus. The Malfoy boy would be a lot less trouble if he had something to do besides practicing subject’s he’s bored with. Fratricide, perhaps. I’m kidding Albus! (he’s only sort of kidding. Maybe not murder. Just turn him into a toad and keep him as a familair in a bowl on the mantlepiece.)
He’d be so mad about the Chamber of secrets though. Potter! A Basilisk! Why didn’t you bring the head back up it’d be magnificent hanging over the great hall.
Oh I see.
Well why didn’t you go BACK? Perfectly good potion ingredients going to waste, doesn’t that brooding mop of a potions master teach you anything about looti- er, collecting spell components?
Cheloneuniverse 