AU where McGonagall puts her foot down and says ‘you’re going to give Lily and James and Sirius and Remus and Peter’s boy to WHO?’ and proceeds to destroy every argument Albus has by saying ‘you don’t want him raised so he’s revered and pampered? Fine, give him to me, I’ll raise him.’
She would be strict and firm but Harry would never doubt that he was loved and important; just no more than anyone else.
Mama McGonagall AU 2k15
I’m crying?
Baby Harry growing up on the Hogwarts grounds.
The paintings on Baby Watch when he learns how to crawl.
The ghosts watching him during naptime.
All the teachers reorganizing their class schedules so someone can watch Harry.
Baby Harry and Hagrid.
They’d have to refit the charms on the school when he hits his terrible two’s because he somehow can get the stairs to move at his whim, and he once stranded a group of 5th year Ravenclaws on a landing for two hours.
Four year old Harry *loving* Professor Flitwick and his charms, floating fairy lights and flower fish.
Two year old Harry babbling in Parseltongue and accidentally finding the Chamber of Secrets.
The Quidditch teams argue over who gets to teach Harry how to fly only for McGonagall to find out one day and give ALL of them detention.
Harry catching a bug and being miserable and McGonagall shifting into ac cat and curling up and purring next to him to settle him down.
Harry getting to meet Remus.
Harry and PEEVES.
Summer vacations to Scotland, Harry knowing every inch of Hogwarts like the back of his hand, Harry growing up as keeper of Hogwarts from the start.
Harry being utterly destroyed by the idea that when he *really* gets to go to Hogwarts (nevermind he’s been sitting in classes since he was five) he’ll have to choose a House.
Harry at 11, standing in the Great Hall, vehemently denying the Sorting Hat’s attempts to put him anywhere.
//Harry going to Hogwarts Unsorted// because what, exactly, are they gonna do about it? Kick him out?
can y’all shut the fuck up about snape when we had LITERALLY THE SWEETEST MAN EVER
Can we talk about how Hagrid is a half-giant and basically the only of his kind at Hogwarts? How his birth was revealed without his consent in a “news” article, causing parents to see him as incompetent and violent? How he took the fall for a crime he didn’t commit because he looked brutish and dumb compared to the golden-child prefect Tom Riddle, who accused him? How this caused him to miss out on the rest of his education and left him to be banned from using magic, the biggest indicator of outsider status in the magical world? How, despite all of this, he’s still genuinely a better person than a kid who got bullied a few times and became obsessive over the girl he didn’t get? How Hagrid’s love of those big, scary monsters isn’t because he’s silly or naive, but because he knows what it’s like to be seen as a monster when it’s not true?
Hagrid is miles more interesting and compelling, but people can’t get past the obsessive, creepy asshole.
the whole yule ball thing in goblet of fire was so dumb and heteronormative
ok but real talk i am in full support of harry just asking ron to the dance with him and being each others “date” and having that be an ok thing instead of asking and then ignoring the poor patil twins who deserved better than that also i would have killed to see a yule ball scene where hermione’s talking with krum and turns around and sees her two best friends trying to do the tango (ron has a rose in his mouth and everything) and fucking tearing up the dance floor
“So,” Harry says. “I need a date to the Yule Ball.”
“Like. A mandatory date?”
“A mandatory date.”
“That’s kinda messed up.”
“Yeah. Any ideas?”
Ron rubs his chin. “Cho didn’t work out, then.”
“Nope. She’s with Cedric.”
“Right, right.” He’s stroking an imaginary beard now. “And Hermione is going with some mystery guy.”
Both boys scowl in unison.
Then, slowly, they turn to look at each other.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Harry asks.
“If you’re thinking we go to the ball together, then yes,” Ron affirms.
Harry has his game face on. So does Ron. “Let’s do this.” They shake on it.
Ron suddenly frowns.
“What?”
“My dress robes are hideous. You think…”
“I can buy—”
“What? No! I mean, isn’t Parvati Patil really good at clothing charms?”
“Oh yeah,” Harry realizes. “She wears those cool dresses on the weekends sometimes—uh, saris? Or something.”
“Yeah, yeah, but she and her sister make them. I heard Lavender talking to her about it. They make loads of their own clothes, think it’s fun or whatever.”
Harry makes a face. “Girls.” He’s mended enough of Dudley’s old clothes to know sewing is not fun. Girls are weird.
“Girls,” Ron agrees.
“…it’s a really good thing we’re going together.”
“Seconded.”
——and that’s how Harry and Ron befriend Lavender Brown and the Patil sisters. The three are actually pretty alright, for girls. (Hermione doesn’t count, clearly, as she’s their best friend.) It takes a while to fix Ron’s robes into something resembling modern fashion, but by then Dean Thomas has Had Enough of Their Dithering and makes the two of them wear three-piece muggle suits under their robes (which also took some creative charmwork, and the jackets were a total loss, but it came out better than the robes overall). Lavender is entirely taken with the idea and the two spend a good few hours discussing fashion.
Harry and Ron are Not Touching That.
Naturally, the two lord the anonymity of their dates over Hermione just like she’s taken to doing to the two of them, and it morphs into a great circle of fun, no hard feelings anywhere by the time the Ball comes around, and basically the whole of Gryffindor (plus Padma of Ravenclaw) is in on one side or the other.
Fred and George have decided it’s a great idea and have invited Lee Jordan to go with the two of them. Not to be outdone, Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinnet are bringing Katie Bell. Rumor has it that Oliver Wood is bringing quidditch gear. Which piece of gear he’s bringing, broom, quaffle, bludger, or goal hoop (don’t ask) is a hot topic of debate.
(He actually ends up bringing a whole host of underclassmen and spends the whole night giving out piggyback rides, dad-dances with them standing on his feet, and lessons about the magic used to decorate the hall, alongside Percy Weasley and Penelope Clearwater, because they gave him the puppy eyes and he is Weak to the puppy eyes.)
——and when Hermione sees Harry and Ron come into the antechamber for champions, she hits them both on the arm for laughing at her all this time. They exchange compliments, and the boys show off their suits and Ron’s modified robes. Then she asks the real question, namely:
“Which of you will be dancing which part?”
and the two just kind of go quiet and stare first at each other, because they hadn’t even thought of that, and then back at Hermione with big pleading eyes begging for help.
McGonagall, amused but on a tight schedule, chivvies the champions and their dates out before Hermione can say more than a joking, “This is what you get for keeping it a secret from me! Do, hahaha, do the tango or something!”
Harry and Ron exchange smirks and all Hermione can bring herself to do is smother giggles in Viktor’s shoulder and conjure them a few roses.
She should’ve known better than to think that the end of it. They drag her into no few ridiculous three-way dances before the night is up. It’s a good night, and they share the next bleary morning with the rest of the dorm, as a big, wild, Gryffindor family.
——and that is how Harry Potter and Ron Weasley made the front page of the Daily Prophet, in muggle suits (vests but no jackets, sleeves rolled up) with roses in their mouths, aggressively doing the tango. The photographer has captured Harry dipping the significantly-taller Ron and waggling his eyebrows suggestively before they both lose their balance and collapse in a tangle of adolescent limbs, laughing like loons.
BOYS IN LOVE? the headline asks.
——certain people are getting really, really sick of people commenting on Harry’s love life.
——"BEST FRIENDS FOREVER" Harry, Ron, and Hermione are quoted later in an exclusive interview with Rita Skeeter, massive grins on their photographed faces, and joy in their hearts.
I don’t normally go back to the series and say “man I wish this’d happened,” but man, I wish Ron and Harry had gone to the ball together!
something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to fuck with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort
*scoffs* ‘“Dark Lord” huh??? that just sounds to me like another way of saying you don’t have a REAL JOB.’
When i did this painting of Draco as an Auror i thought it looked like a Picture in an boulevard-paper for woman in their mid-forties, so i made it one 😉
Of Course this reveals the scandalous affair between Harry and Malfoy! Stay tuned for the whole dirty Story
Cheloneuniverse 