friendly reminder that the only reference to non-straight people even existing in the whole of 7 harry potter books was that one time in ootp when dudley made fun of harry saying cedric’s name in his sleep, asking mockingly if that was his boyfriend’s name. that’s it. that one homophobic insult was all that jk rowling ever delivered in canon. whatever she says on twitter or in interviews does not erase the fact that she chose, and still deliberately chooses not to represent us in her works, even though the chance presented itself several times. she just can’t risk the love of all the homophobic white dudes who still idealize snape and lowkey agree with the wizard nazis
honestly the harry potter fandom is so wild like we’ve all collectively refused to accept cursed child as canon but some college kids tell us hufflepuffs are particularly good finders and we don’t even question it
I didn’t truly get the whole “death of the author” paradigm until I watched the harry potter fandom collectively divorce JKR
Draco Malfoy personally made the Potter stinks buttons and nobody could fix them to say Harry was cool and shit, if they tried it would only make the insults worse
You wouldn’t know Draco Malfoy was always right behind Hermione in grades
You wouldn’t know Draco was seriously the most animated person at school and acted out everything.
You wouldn’t know Draco got deeply offended when people didn’t laugh at his jokes
You wouldn’t know Draco created the Weasley is our King song, tune and all. (Probably in the shower or something because he’s such a weenie)
You wouldn’t know Draco and Ron got into a fist fight in their first year
You wouldn’t know about the huge knock down drag out between Draco, Harry and the rest of the Slytherin and Gryffindor quidditch team in their fifth year. (Harry and Draco just fucking tackle each other and start whooping each others asses and it’s amazing.)
You would miss out on basically everything Draco says and does. He’s a walking gold mine and It’s upsetting the movies didn’t devote a few seconds for any of his shit (Azkaban did an okay job)
You wouldn’t know about the Weasley is our king buttons he made in fifth year either
You wouldn’t know Draco didn’t actually try and fight a Hippogriff
he was just petting him and offhandedly said that he was ugly. He didn’t sprint over to him, he actually did all the bowing and what not.
If you didn’t read the books you wouldn’t know that Draco is the most annoyingly smart and artistic little shit you’ve ever heard of.
you also wouldn’t know that Harry was the only seeker who could beat him.
That he suffered from quite severe depression in book five. Quit Quidditch, stopped seeing his friends. He was depressed to the point of looking physically sick.
That when he confronted Dumbledore he said he had to kill Dumbledore because Voldemort had his family. Not because he was concerned for himself.
You wouldn’t know that he was the only person able to find a way into Hogwarts passed Dumbledores protection spells.
you guys also miss out on the fact that Draco brilliantly sneaks some polyjuice potion from a potions lesson so that he can transform Crabbe and Goyle into different girls all the time so that no one suspected they were up to anything while the two of them guarded the area outside of the room of requirement for Draco.
you guys don’t get to see how his “big bad slytherin buddies” actually tried to calm him down on the train when he was obviously anxious about the whole Voldemort thing. he even calmly laid in Pansy’s lap while she played with his hair.
you guys don’t know about Draco going to visit moaning Myrtle in her bathroom and how she admits that he opens up to her and how he’s sensitive and cries pretty often. and the whole fact that they’re friends.
you guys even miss out on the fact that Draco and Harry meet before they introduce themselves in the handshake scene while they’re being fitted for school robes in Diagon Alley, and Draco has a full conversation with Harry without even knowing who he is.
i don’t think you even get a glimpse of the fact that Draco always receives letters and packages of sweets and stuff from home while he’s away at school.
i also can’t stand the fact that they removed THIS SCENEand basically added the total opposite. how are you going to delete the best character development for Draco, and just make him weak? standing next to his fellow classmates and refusing to cross the courtyard when his family calls him, yelling “Potter!” when he realizes that Harry is actually alive and running towards him and throwing him a wand!! it’s the strongest, ballsiest, audience-mind-changingly scene possible, and they just throw it all away.
((sorry i’m just really salty about how he was portrayed in the movies ok))
I’m internally screaming because this is everything that needs to be known by all of those haven’t read the books and have the bALLS TO SAY THE MOVIES ARE BETTER
Umbridge: Mr. Potter, do you expect to be attacked in my class?
Harry: Yes.
Umbridge: What?
Harry: Well, I mean, I’m running four for four.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: Quirrel tried to choke me out.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: And Lockhart tried to wipe my memory.
Umbridge: Mr. Potter-
Harry: Of course, Professor Lupin didn’t mean it. He just forgot his potion, but still, totally went werewolf on me.
Umbridge: MR. POTTER-
Harry: And then Moody turned out to be an escaped Death Eater in disguise.
Umbridge: POTTER!
Harry: So, yeah, I figure it’s 100% you’ll attack me in June, 50/50 you’ll try to kill me, with a 25% chance of an Unforgivable curse.
Harry: (Turns to Hermione)
Harry: Did I get the math right?
Hermione: Yes.
Harry Potter AU where everything is the same, but the Muggleborn kids who are fans of various Muggle sports/budding athletes keep it up while at Hogwarts.
Because listen, just imagine the cricket kids, and the football kids, and the rugby kids arguing about who gets the grounds today, but also collectively rounding on the Quidditch kids because “they always get fucking preferences, my god”.
Dean – more like Dreamy am I right – Thomas is the star midfielder of the Gryffindor football team. Justin however is the most beloved goalkeeper. When Justin saves a goal, you cheer even if Hufflepuff is playing against your house.
Hermione is surprisingly terrifyingly good at tennis, and she has a friendly rivalry going on with Padma Patil. They play every Saturday evening, and people let them use the grounds because the games are fun to watch and no one wants to be hexed by Granger and Patil. (Ron is not over the skirts. Hermione in tennis skirts are not good for his health)
Harry ends up trying for all the Muggle sports teams too, because while he’s glad to have Quidditch, he’s also grown up watching others play these sports, or being picked last whenever he tried to join, and you bet your ass he wants to make some good memories.
(He ends up being the Gryffindor goalkeeper though because he’s good at it. He’s surpringly not mad.)
Luna should be banned from playing for actual cricket matches, not because people find her odd, or because she’s pureblood, but because the one time she got invited, she turned out to be too good a batsman to be true and nobody needs that kind of demotivation of watching Luna somehow constantly managing to hit fours and sixes. Luna is to be feared.
You don’t mess with the rugby teams of any houses. The rugby teams are terrifying. They are awe inspiring. They are to be feared.
With this spellbinding project, insanely talented artist @littlechmura wanted to create a self-contained moment for each of these beloved Harry Potter characters—a single scene that gives a glimpse into their own magical worlds. She’s calling the series “One Breath Each”, and we’re calling it GORGEOUS AF.
People talk a lot about how Harry Potter taught them about friendship and bravery and love overcoming evil etc and of course I think that’s very important but like…
Harry Potter also taught an entire generation of kids that the news media can’t always be trusted to tell the truth, that the government can often be corrupt or incompetent, that the legal system isn’t always right, that the people in power don’t always have your best interests at heart. That bad things sometimes happen to good people, that your heroes aren’t always as perfect as you think they are, that even those with the best intentions can be wrong, that everyone can make mistakes and that often in order to make things right it takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice.
…and I think in a way that’s every bit as important as the more positive messages.
his parents are dead before the beginning of the story, which makes him an orphan, the ideal tamil movie hero
his life blows from beginning to still in the beginning but worse (abt 1/5th of the way into the story), where everything suddenly looks good for about 0.25 seconds before it is All Bad Again. this arc usually involves a parental figure who turns out to be evil/using him/not have his best interests in mind by the end of the movie
bye dumbledore
somebody he cares about dies at the halfway mark of the story for absolutely no reason. maybe plot progression? u can’t explain it, it just happens. ridiculously long focus on their parents grieving their child while hero is emo about it
cedric diggory is dead and i will never be over it
Weird Introspection Near Trees, otherwise known as Hero Needs To Angst Somewhere
The Weird Farm Arc, where the hero is just There in farmland for no reason, perhaps to remind us that all land was farm land once
there’s a fight at the end of the movie where he loses more loved ones (specifically a parental figure) that he wins despite long odds
at the end, everyone is happy because married. movie ends with a train
tl;dr: harry potter is a tamilian movie hero in a white story, please do him justice by making him tamilian in everything
Cheloneuniverse 