hey there buddy!! hope ur day is going nice!! this turned into more of a general thing on how the boys got their names, really, so i hope that’s fine w/ you!!
james sirius: tamil families (or at least mine) tend to name firstborn boys after their grandfathers/great-grandfathers (but only if they’re dead– white families don’t seem to have that requirement), so it actually makes sense that harry named the first boy james sirius. it’s a big name for a little boy, though, so harry and ginny decide he needs a nickname. ginny calls him jay once, and that sticks. jay means victory, in sanskrit– an appropriate choice, considering whose son he is.
remus rubeus: remus rubeus got his name because harry wanted to round out his dad collection with two more of his soul dads. harry tends to call remus ram, though, because it’s a tie back to harry’s culture and also ram is a god known for his devotion to his family, especially his brother!! that’d be a big thing for harry, especially considering he’d be worried about the boys being too close together in age!!
(fun fact, if you put my name together with rr’s and jsp’s, you get the phrase sri rama jayam, which means victory to sri ram!! pretty clever work on my part yeah?? ;D)
alright so i know we are all into punk sirius who is hot on slumming it in his teens, showing just how connected to the working classes and the great unwashed he is by living in a tiny poky flat in London, BUT I submit, for your delectation:
everyone lives au in which sirius decides to reverse stick it to his fam by joining forces with andromeda to become the hot new socialites in magical britain, hosting charity balls for postwar rehabilitation and like, vampire & werewolf charity fundraisers – lavish affairs in which the rich and the beautiful are subtly pressured into outbidding each other into donating more and more absurd amounts of money or else risk being socially ostracized FOREVER because they won’t receive one of those EXCLUSIVE invitations to number 12 Grimmauld Place & this INFURIATES narcissa who CLEARLY is the HEIR to the social lives of the black family and will not be USURPED by her black sheep of a sister and the family’s wild canon and dissolute disowned heir, her cousin lbr she probably bitches about this to Bellatrix’s portrait ad infinitum and Bella’s just like why don’t I have my WAND why can’t I cast spells and make her SHUT UP she and Draco grow very close in those months with Narcissa’s wailing incessantly about how NO ONE will attend any of the Malfoy’s social events and also FANCY!!!! ANDROMEDA HAVING THE AUDACITY TO DISINVITE ME FROM MY OWN ANCESTRAL HOME!!! AN INSULT NOT TO BE BORNE!!!!
anyway, Sirius obviously throws each and every single piece of furniture in Grimmauld Place out and strips it down, knocks down a couple of walls and adds in some elegant french windows and with Fleur’s help redesigns the place entirely because for god’s sake, victorian gothic is SO last century and besides, if we’re really doing pureblood decadence the only way to go is French Rococo lbr and everything is now MIRRORS and GILT and frankly ridiculous furniture that is IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT ON but everyone adores even when they’ve been standing in six inch heels for three hours running. Walburga Black obviously has kittens over this redecoration and this meticulous stripping away of their HISTORY (we can trace our family all the way to the Norman conquest! Your great great great great great great great great great great grandfather fought alongside King William at Hastings (unlike the Malfoys who only LIE about their involvement, just so we’re clear) she shouts until Sirius reveals his party trick aka the elaborately brocaded silk curtains he’s installed to be pulled over his mother’s painting so she becomes yet another one of the #quirks of Grimmauld Place, an entertainment set piece and nothing more).
Meanwhile in the library Sirius probably donates half the books to Hogwarts and then redoes the entire place in homage to the Brighton Pavillion (You see I’m not entirely unpatriotic, he tells the portrait of his fuming father) and then installs CARD TABLES at which the rich and the famous can do things like LOSE ENTIRE FORTUNES and also the family diamonds – all in the name of charity.
Also, most importantly is the draw Sirius exerts on the entire wizarding world because he obviously cultivates an eccentric and bohemian persona and insists on receiving guests for one hour only from a chaise longue in one of the parlours where he reclines in these hideous brocaded silk dressing gowns, with bottles of sal vol and assorted smelling salts around him and he only ever extends a single well-manicured hand to everyone: twelve years in Azkaban, he says faintly to everyone who visits, but the healer says I should recover my nerves soon (no one knows when ‘’’’’’’’’soon’’’’’’’’’ is, but this goes on for at least ten years after the war.)
And obviously each and every single one of his relatives stuck in their portraits are clawing their eyes out or shrieking in horror about WE HAVE BEEN REDUCED!!!! REDUCED TO BEING NO MORE THAN THE LAUGHING STOCK OF BRITAIN!!! except possibly Regs who is amused at just how terribly transparent & crude his brother is at the art of provocateuring.
In all other cases except the Triwizard cup, portkeys only go one way at one specific time. Touching them again does not activate them to return to their place of origin. Also, when Harry grabs the cup a second time, it does not return him to the middle of the maze. It takes him to the entrance of the maze, in front of everyone.
Therefore, when Crouch Jr. (as Moody) bewitched the cup, he planned to have it take anyone who touched it first to the graveyard, then to the front of the maze.The cup was probably supposed to be a portkey to take the winner to the front of the maze anyway, so they wouldn’t have to try to fight their way out again.
Voldemort obviously planned to kill Harry. He had to. That was the whole point; to kill Harry in front of all his Death Eaters, all the ones who had deserted him and doubted his power to return.
There’s the possibility that he wanted to send Harry’s body back, either to divert suspicion somehow or to intentionally flout his victory in Dumbledore’s face. Except Voldemort had promised his precious Nagini several times she could eat Harry, and it seemed like a promise Voldemort was going to keep.
So who was meant to take that return trip?
Voldemort could use it as a ticket into Hogwarts for a surprise attack, but he’s freshly reborn, his Death Eaters are 13 years out of practice, and there’s a flock of powerful wizards there for the Triwizard. That would be an idiotic move.
Or what if Harry—or someone who looked like him—had returned to Hogwarts as if nothing had happened in that maze? As the victor of the Triwizard Tournament AND the Boy Who Lived, Harry would be able to go anywhere and do anything. Everyone trusts him.
Two words: POLYJUICE POTION.
There was one Death Eater already waiting at Hogwarts who had very carefully been spending a whole year getting to know Harry, watching his every movement: Barty Crouch Jr.
So here was Voldemort’s complete plan: Use Barty Crouch Jr. to infiltrate Hogwarts as Moody. He gets to know Harry and sets him up to be selected for and eventually to win the Triwizard Tournament. He makes sure Harry touches the cup first. Harry is then transported to the graveyard where Voldemort is waiting. Voldemort uses Harry to rise, calls his Death Eaters to him, and then humiliates and kills the Boy Who Lived in front of them.
Then Voldemort strips Harry’s body, takes his hair, and transforms into him (or else has one of his DE’s do this—but really, who would he pick? Lucius is an idiot, Bellatrix is still in jail, and he believes Snape has deserted him). He then takes the cup and goes to Hogwarts as Harry. Later that night, Moody disappears, and Crouch takes Voldemort’s place as Harry Potter. Then, when the moment is right, Voldemort-Harry or Crouch-Harry will assassinate Dumbledore (incidentally gaining the power of the Elder Wand, though he wouldn’t know it), stage a coup of Hogwarts, and take over the wizarding world.
Heck, he/they might not even drop their disguise as Harry. The wizarding world has faced Voldemort as an enemy before, but if their savior Harry Potter suddenly turned out to be just as powerful a Dark Lord as He Who Must Not Be Named? It would be a far scarier prospect than simply dealing with Voldemort’s return.
It solves the problem of why Voldemort went to such lengths to get Harry through the Triwizard, when there were far easier ways to capture him: Voldemort didn’t just need Harry’s blood; he needed Harry as the world’s hero.
And all that time in Hogwarts would give Voldemort time to search for a relic of Godric Gryffindor, the one founder he never made a horcrux from.
Of course, none of this could have worked because Voldemort could never in a million years fool Ron or Hermione or Dumbledore, not even for a minute. But there’s Voldemort’s greatest weakness again—he doesn’t understand love.
so sometimes i think about harry potter being in the aurors and like
he’d never really thought about child protective services, muggle or otherwise, cause it’d never been relevant, right? like when he was a miserable kid he just thought that was what it was like being an orphan. but then he sees cases come through the department where parents are murdered and there’s kids sitting in their waiting room with copies of the quibbler and water waiting while an auror sits down with a family tree and tries to find whatever relatives this kid might have in the wizarding world, going back maybe even five generations to find anyone living and vaguely related to this child to drop them off with
and he goes to shit apartments in diagon alley after noise complaints and finds children who are black and blue with hexed, bleeding skin who insist they were just playing with a weasley’s wizard wheeze, no really mr. potter
and he thinks about how merope gaunt stumbled into a muggle orphanage and left them a child who would grow up learning fear was the key to harmony, and becoming a god meant safety
and really, how was the headmaster of a school the person who made the call about where he ended up, how was the system so haphazard that a man who wouldn’t be part of his life for another ten years got to make the biggest decision of his life
harry thinks about his cupboard
and then harry potter sits down with hermione and ron and neville (cause of course neville would want a stake in this) and says, “we need to change the wizarding world again.”
‘Moody’: Who’s this, Potter?
Harry: Oh, this is Dobby, a house-elf who can literally Apparate anywhere and retrieve anything and isn’t bound by magical obstacles set by wizards and witches.
‘Moody’: Cool, cool.
Harry: Anyway, do you know how I can retrieve this egg?
‘Moody’: I dunno, fly at it with a broom?
Harry:
Harry: Yeah, that works!
You know, it’s too bad that there are people out there who never played any of the Harry Potter video games because there was a random subplot in the third game after Harry goes to the Hospital Wing (after the Dementors show up at the Quidditch match) and everyone honestly needs to know about it.
It starts off with Ron waking him up in the middle of the night:
So you get to go around Hogwarts in your awesome bathrobe:
And you spend all this time fighting Peeves and sneaking around and like an hour of playtime later, you finally, finally get to the Dungeons!
And what happens?
Ron just randomly pushes you into a hole that just so happens to be in the Dungeons because Hogwarts is a death trap.
Only it’s not Ron at all.
It’s…dun dun dun…
And Malfoy gives no reason, literally no reason, for why he did this. (He says “we’re even” but you didn’t do anything to him so ???).
And he gives no indicator of what his ultimate plan is.
Just…
Step 1.) Push Potter into hole.
Step 2.) ???
Step 3.) Profit (?)
In conclusion, these games were the best and it’s a shame that more people didn’t play them.
(And god, I remember back when these graphics were amazing high-tech improvements compared to the first two games. I mean, I guess they technically still are…)
Anyway, I know some of you played these wonderful games so reblog with your favorite random subplot. This is going to be hilarious (and nostalgic).
Lads, it’s 2:30 AM but I can’t stop thinking about the fact that Ron spent his life trying to amount to the successes of his family when he literally accomplished each and every single one of their goals in life.
No, think about it.
Ginny’s goal in life was to be close to Harry and go on a kickass adventure.
Ron was the thing Harry would miss the most and obviously they went on a kickass adventure. Many, in fact.
Percy’s goal in life was to work at the Ministry of Magic.
Ron ended up becoming one of the most famous Aurors in history.
Charlie wanted to protect dragons.
Ron ended up freeing a gigantic dragon from the Ministry of Magic (not to mention originally helping Norberta).
Bill wanted to work as a cursebreaker.
Ron, at the age of seventeen, was able to resist the defense mechanisms of a horcrux in order to stab it and if that doesn’t count as breaking a curse then I don’t know what does.
Arthur loved Muggles and wanted to merge their worlds.
Ron literally married a Muggle-Born and got to merge their worlds.
Molly wanted a healthy, loving, family.
Ron, again, married and had two amazing children.
George wanted to make people laugh.
Ron left the Auror business to work at the joke shop and make people laugh.
Cheloneuniverse 