Casual reminder that Hiveswap is set in 1994 a.k.a. in two years Pa will find Jade in a crater and move to the remote island he’ll die on.
FUCK DUDE this means the Roxy in this story is only 2 years off from finding Rose too, she was so damn young GOD
catch moxy goin from this to this in just about a year and a half (??/??/94(?)) — 4/13/96
Roxy is already and adult in ‘94.
In that picture where she looks like a teenager Jude is only a toddler at most so it’s been several years since then.
Not to mention Jude and Joey talked about it being to late to reach her at ‘the lab’, implying that’s she’s old enough in ‘94 to be working in a lab environment which they probably wouldn’t let her if she wasn’t legally an adult.
We do actually know how old she was, since her meteor and Bro’s came down at more or less the same time (within a few days of each other), which we know was around 1980 from the meteor timeline.
The most telling fact though is in Dave’s conversation to Dirk right at the end of Homestuck, where he tells him he’s “barely cleared the halfway mark on getting there”, age wise. And since Dirk is 16, that means that they were most likely 31 in 2009, at the most 32, aka they were born around 1977/78. Which means that as of Hiveswap (11/11/94), Roxy is around 16/17 (which is a pretty average age for a babysitter, and there’s no reason why she couldn’t have had a side job in a lab at that age), and her and Dirk were around 18 or 19 when they became parents.
Which probably contributed to the fact that they were less than great.
part of me: i should write more dirkhal also part of me: it’s 2018 i should stop writing homestuck fanfiction
another substantial part of me: but it’s about time in my series for them to have a fundamental massive breakdown of communication again based on a misunderstanding and then spend like 2000 words being mad and upset and have that tentatively stable ❤ be flippin between <3< and ❤ while roxy is like. throws up hands. ur both fuckin stupid. before settling into <3< for an entry. because stable ❤ dirkhal is absolutely unrealistic unless they’ve both gotten therapy for like 15 years and they’re only at like, half a year of therapy at most in my series despite being out of the game a While and all of that unofficial and mainly hal doing it for dirk like an idiot. plus then it finally gives me the chance to slot rose in and write those good good rose and dirk interactions so i can also have hal and kanaya interact and have kanaya despair at his fashion sense.
rest of me: why am i like this
fanfic is for fun, do what you like
fandoms don’t expire
people still write achilles/patroclus 😀
i have been restraining myself for like six months from writing the “hal tries to find dirk a therapist, concludes the only one even remotely qualified to handle his bullshit is rose, has to drag the horse to water and then watch it freak the fuck out at its own reflection” story. it’d be so fun. it’d be so stupid. i was incredibly tempted to have rose make therapy puppets.
please write rose making therapy puppets. you have awakened a craving.
“So first of all, father-”
“Oh my god. Do not call me that.”
Rose makes a note on her clipboard as
she watches Dirk squirm. He would make a pink turtle proud with how
determinedly he’s trying to withdraw into his torso.
“Would you prefer, da-”
“I can just leave, you know. I don’t
want to be here. I could just get up and walk out the door.”
Rose makes another note, sets down her
clipboard, and tents her fingers.
“Dirk, then.”
“I knew this was a bad idea.” Dirk
stands up, runs his hands through his hair. Freezes, realizes the
catastrophic result this has had on his immaculately styled ‘do, and
sits back down. “Look. I don’t think you want to be here any more
than I do, so how about we make this as perfunctory and painless as
possible? We get through an hour, I go outside and tell Hal that
sorry, bro, this crashed harder than a toddler after a sugar high, we
write off ever doing this again.”
Rose blinks, then smiles.
“Why, Dirk. Why ever would you think
that I don’t want to be here?”
“Yeah, see, I knew you’d- What.”
She sits up, primly adjusting the line
of her skirt. Her eyes – so much like Roxy’s, shit’s fuckin’ weird
– gleam with what could easily be entertainment or sheer malice as
she smiles.
“My dude, I have been waiting for
this moment, for, oh…” Rose opens a cabinet next to her chair,
retrieves a small black book, flips through it, and then taps a page.
“About, seven years, five months, seven days.” She snaps the book
shut, sets it down, and the smile grows. “I had rather thought that
during that time, we would have exchanged a conversation about things
other than the weather or how bright it is at whichever mandated
social gathering we happened to be attending.” A shrug. “But I
understand if you weren’t ready to face your responsibilities,
paternal or otherwise.”
Malice. Definitely malice. Malice
dripping like molasses with each word.
“Uh, I-”
“I’m not angry,
Dirk. Just disappointed.”
“I
thought I was supposed to be the parental figure here.” A flippant
response to try and gain some ground back as sweat beads on his
forehead. This was precisely why he had been avoiding her since the
moment they’d gotten established on the fresh planet with plenty of
space to hide. This shit right here.
“Let us take a moment, for
the first time in this session, to be real as fuck. Our genetic
situation is entirely screwed up, and more than a little
uncomfortable if you think about it for more than a moment. I’m not
actually going to ask you to step into the role of fatherhood.”
“Thank
fu-”
“For
one thing, it’s clear that you have no business raising anyone. And
for another I imagine I would get more emotional engagement out of a
rock I found in a field somewhere.”
“Okay,
wow.”
“Am I wrong?” She picks up her pen,
twirls it between her fingers.
“I mean-”
“Exactly.” Rose points the pen at
him, and Dirk feels a chill through his spine. “So, my job, Dirk.
Is to help fix that. Like
Gepetto before me, I must craft you into a simulcra of a functioning
human being that may, one day, fool people into thinking it’s the real thing.
Perhaps, in time, you can become
the real thing.” Rose leans forward and claps, startling Dirk into
a white knuckled grip on the edge of his chair. “Let’s talk about
puppets, motherfucker.”
help me im dying it’s just writing itself now
hey OP I followed you for the first post in this chain and that was the best decision I’ve made all month
Cheloneuniverse 