wakeupontheprongssideofthebed:
You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.
You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?
You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”
He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”
This one wins.
It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up. She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out. First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.
Clark’s introducing her around. “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”
You blink, and take a step back in fear. You’ve never seen an 11 before.
The day Bruce Wayne shows up for his long promised interview with Lois Lane, you can’t help it, the mug your holding drops from your fingers and sends a shock of hot coffee and ceramic shards across the floor.
Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”
You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.
That’s it. Your gift has officially gone haywire. There is no other explanation. Because there is absolutely no way that Brucie Wayne is a 10.
At this point, you’ve seen it all. Miled manner reporters and billionaires at a 10 and a model-like woman at 11. You were really starting to doubt your power. The day you really stopped believeing in it was when Bruce Wayne came for another visit, and this time with a kid. The kid couldn’t be more than 10 years old, a bit on the short side.
He was an 8.
The day you started believing in it again was when you saw on tv the formation of something called the justice league.
There were those same numbers over superman, batman, wonder woman and robin. That’s when you put two and two together. You wonder how nobody at the daily planet noticed that Clarke was Superman with glasses. You wonder why you didn’t notice. You wonder why nobody put two and two together that Diana Prince and Wonder Woman looked exactly the same. You look in the mirror as the realization hit you and you see your own number change from a 3 to a 9.
Tag: dc comics
Did you know that the big Metropolis fight scene at the end of Man of Steel was inspired by Birdy the Mighty? the more you know!
What better way to absorb more sunlight with an empowering costume!
Continuing the awesome trend of giving Supes a costume more fit to his powerset, he looks mighty fine in Birdy’s attire.
I also enjoy how her absurd
bodypaintcostume turns out to be a pretty gender-neutral when put on a guy.~Ozzie
PLEASE, can I get the writing meme commentary for “The thing about being really rich is that it means I’m capable of things that no one else is. For instance: at any time, if I want to, I can kick Lex Luthor in the balls. […] The point is, from this point forward, Luthor is going to spend the rest of his life worried that I’m going to kick him in the balls and completely unable to do anything about it. That doesn’t work if I give my money away.”
this is the closest bruce wayne can possibly get to admitting he’s batman and when lois rereads this later and realizes what he did she’s gonna kick him in the balls
bruce would never actually kick lex in the balls when he could kick him in the head instead, but lex doesn’t know that and by making these statements publicly bruce has put lex luthor in the position of either having to avoid bruce at events, or else pointedly not avoiding bruce, but the thing is that lex is a coward and if bruce looks like he might kick him lex will abso-fucking-lutely flinch and because the article is public everyone will know exactly why he flinched and bruce won’t have to say a goddamn thing
they don’t even run into each other all that often but it’s just often enough that lex will never truly be free from the vague, nagging concern that this dude who famously enjoys shit like riding motorcycles off cliffs and kickboxing might decide on a whim to kick him and he wouldn’t even have to do it hard and lex has no options that won’t result in people making fun of him, aside from maybe wearing a reinforced cup at all times so any kicks won’t incapacitate him, but at that point he’s putting himself through a lot of discomfort just on the off-chance that a billionaire everyone likes more than him might kick him and he will always, always be putting a lot more thought into this than bruce ever will
Cheloneuniverse 