Tag: Batman

jerseydevious:

calebnewcastle:

jerseydevious:

five-for-silver-six-for-gold:

jerseydevious:

on the subject of jewish superheroes, batman was made jewish by accident, and DC has no fucking clue they did it

I missed this, explain! (Sorry don’t have a great comics background.)

you’re fine! comics are wild and confusing, i understand completely

the kanes are jewish! kate kane is jewish, and canonically bruce’s maternal first cousin, effectively making martha wayne jewish. by halachic standards, that would make bruce jewish.

So Bruce had a Bat Mitzvah ceremony then?

im really fucking mad that DC accidentally made this pun possible, and that i was also not the first to make it

So as I person who works nights, i’ve recently come to appreciate 24 hour food places, and One would imagine that in Gotham most of the super/bat community have as well. batfam sitting in a Waffle House eating ‘like normal people’, except that it’s 4am and everyone in beat9 ways to Sunday. Bruce is still bleeding all over, Damien looks like he’s got half a windshield stuck in his face, Dick is 50%sure he just swallowed a molar, and Steph is just shoveling hashnrowns into her mouth and grinning

whore4batfam:

whore4batfam:

whore4batfam:

And the night staff just completely nonplussed about the entire thing.

The young servers getting tipped like $100 and being like “okay they are sleep deprived I need to give this back”

and the older servers just shaking their head and saying, “Dude that’s just what they do get used to it last time someone refused Batman kindly acquiesced and then later they found $200 tucked inside the bottom of their shoes”

“How did they not feel–”

“He’s Batman, Kerry”

And the cooks refusing to serve them anymore coffee after 4:00 because “no you need to go to sleep I won’t have you bouncing around” (generally said to the younger vigilantes (which they blame on Dick’s early Robin days but the fault actually lies with Tim)

However there was that one time an elderly lady diner owner took Batman’s coffee away and he couldn’t get it back. It was quite an event, the kids near worship her now

“What type of person even HAS enough money to tip each of us $100?”
A pointed look.
A gasp. “No!” Then, hesitantly, “You’re not saying…?”
“I’m not saying anything. You’re not saying anything. But we both know how many billionaires live in Gotham City.”
“Trillion.”
“What?”
“Trillionaire. Tim Drake really helped with profits and sustainable practices for the urban environment.”
“…”
“What? I did a paper on it!”

Which leads to an unwavering sense of loyalty.
[Villain crashes into diner front] “I’ve finally got you, Batman! Now you will–”
CRASH!
A wild employee appears, brandishing a skillet!
“You” BANG!“ “will not” BANG! “touch them” BANG! “while they have” BANG “their morning” BANG! “COFFEE!”

phynali:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

wolvensnothere:

unclewhisky:

twelfth-doctor:

this comic is everything I’ve ever wanted

Commissioner Gordon is the best Batman character, and I will allow no argument on this matter.

Damn right. He’s ALWAYS known.

Something that annoyed me in The Dark Knight Rises (One of the many things that annoyed me) was Gordon being fuckin SHOOK that Batman was Bruce Wayne because like…

Bruce Wayne

Is very obviously Batman

Hell in a recent issue of Snyder’s All Star Batman, Alfred flat out says that MOST people in Gotham (The ones who aren’t so fuckin weired they dress up like birthday clowns or like they’re off to see the wizard) probably “Know” that Bruce is Batman but it’s just that Bruce has made it impossible to PROVE it so no one can do anything legally and anyone who tried to print it would get sued for libel/slander so fast their head would spin so everyone just has to kind of…PRETEND they don’t know for sure

Gordon knows Bruce is Batman

Gordon’s probably always known

Like

Bruce Wayne’s parents are killed by a criminal

Bruce Wayne inherits LOTS OF MONEY

Bruce Wayne dissapears for over a decade

Bruce Wayne comes back and suddenly someone is beating the shit out of criminals using high tech gadgets only someone with lots of money could afford

And tech that looks suspiciously exactly like the tech that gets designed by Wayne Enterprises, the company Bruce Wayne now owns

Even Inspector Clouseau could join the dots on this one

Okay but reblogging this again because…

If you headcanon or take it as given that a large section of the population has that figured out, including Bruce’s socialite ‘buddies’ because like… they know how many kids he has… they know how many bat sidekicks there are… the time when Bruce suddenly gets a new kid corresponds very closely with when a new Bat kid shows up…. they know.

So if you take that as given, but then think about him putting on his ‘Brucie’ face at parties and to the public, and think about all of those other rich people just freaking like… playing along???? trying not to laugh at his nice act if they’ve ever seen his ‘batman’ voice???? totally confused as to how he does that with his voice?

And secretly they’re like “omg fucking batman came to my party last weekend!”

“He was on my yacht!”

“No wonder the Riddler tried to crash our charity event – Bruce actually RSVP’d as coming!”

“Well he didn’t show up.”

“Didn’t he though?”

And like… 

“so which one of those kids is the red one and with one is the robin?”

“Do you mean Red Hood and Red Robin or regular Robin?”

“How many kids does Bruce have now?”

“Didn’t one of them die? The numbers don’t add up.”

bifca:

incogneat-oh:

I feel like Damian, (after dozing off in front of late-night sitcom reruns awaiting Batman’s return from patrol) gets the wrong idea about bringing over plants as housewarming gifts? Instead of realising it’s a one-off, congratulations-on-the-new-place gift, he is under the impression it is an ongoing courtesy, and that whenever you accept someone’s hospitality you need to give them a plant.
This means that whenever he visits any of the Bats for help with a case, he always brings a plant, but neglects to explain why.
This leads to a lot of bewilderment among the extended family, but eventually Tim learns to pot them and builds up a lovely garden area on his balcony, and Jason ends up with a nice collection of houseplants that he doesn’t really know what to do with, and even Cass has a couple of tiny cacti. It’s actually kind of nice.
But still no one has the fortitude to ask what the heck that kid is doing.

#and one time jason is at tim’s place when damian shows up#thrusts a plant into tim’s hands without a greeting#and says ‘I NEED TO USE YOUR NEST DRAKE.’#and tim makes a Face at jason and jason mouths ‘wtf. why does he always bring plants???’#and tim immediately is like ‘oh thank GOD i thought it was just me?? i’ve been testing them for poisons all this time.’#‘but then when they’re fine i just pot em and stick em on the balcony.’#and he kind of looks at the plant and is like ‘nice. i needed more begonias.’