Tag: Anecdotes

shipvicturi:

So, I have an American friend named Jane who married this English guy about 7 years ago. They live in Sussex together (god rest their souls), and they had a little boy pretty much right after they got married. As he grew up, they figured he would have a mix of their accents with a heavy lean towards English (because he’d go to school with English kids and teachers and the like.)

That’s not how it fucking worked out at all though. Instead, he says individual words with either an American or an English accent. Like, one second he’ll be like, “Daddy, I’m knackered” and the next he’ll be like, “AY YO MA WHERE YOU AT???” Every time they send me a video I just fucking piss myself listening to this kid.

fuzzynecromancer:

literallyaflame:

when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.

then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.

so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.

one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.

my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.

all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol

This took a different direction than I was expecting.

johnnyfourballs:

rrozeselavy:

rich ppl are like so easily convinced abt ghosts I remember growing up it was near this vacant lot and whenever I broke a toy instead of going to face the wrath of my mother I would fucking bury it in that lot and then sure enough, some dude tried to develop the land and found a ton of buried rotten dolls and shit and told everyone it was haunted

it’s been over a decade and that lot is still vacant 

You single handedly tanked the value of someone’s prime real estate and that makes me happy