Arthur: Pretend I’m Charlie, speak to me. What would you say?
Molly: I can’t do this!
Arthur: Sure you can!
[Molly gives him a skeptical look]
Arthur: There, there! THAT’S my wife! All right, here we go.
[takes a deep breath and speaks in a shrilly voice, impersonating Charlie]
Arthur: I don’t want to get married! I want to stay single and let my hair flow in the wind as I fly through Romania, with my dragons into the sunset!
dumbledore: snape you bully students, show blatant favouritism, ignore non-slytherin students who are being bullied, abuse the house points system, are super creepy and also once you threatened to drug a kids juice with truth potion which has got to be super illegal yo
snape: yeeeeah
dumbledore: buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut youre like the only person i have constantly in my pocket so i guess ill keep letting you interact with vulnerable children
snape: sweet
but like do you ever think about the actual practicalities of creating the marauders map??? like shit, accurately drawing up just a normal map of a normal castle would take hours upon hours of work, especially for four teenagers who have like…… no idea what they’re doing. they basically taught themselves to be cartographers, for fun, when they were teenagers…… if that isn’t the most nerdy af thing you’ve ever heard idk what is. add to that the fact that its Hogwarts with moving staircases, hidden corridors, secret passage ways behind tapestries and portraits, disappearing doors….. thats like…. a ridiculous amount of work, and thats not even taking into account all of the complicated magic they had to research and learn in order to track people and to disguise the map and to have it insult people on their behalf. not only did they have to explore every inch of the castle whilst taking notes, they must have spent countless hours at the library reading and sketching and researching, and then there’s the whole casually becoming animagi thing. YEAH they were like… Raucous Youths who were forever getting into trouble and showing off and pulling stupid pranks and generally being the Marauders™ but they must also have had like….. a ridiculous amount of single-minded determination and stubbornness and just unwavering devotion to helping their friend/getting away with shit and honestly. its a terrifying combination.
Can we stop using that shitty narrative that Voldemort was asexual because “he wasn’t human enough to have sex anymore.” There’s nothing wrong with thinking Voldemort was asexual, but let’s just headcanon that without making the sexual attraction the marker by which humanity is measured.
“Heil this, motherfucker,” says Captain America, shooting off a rocket.
Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.”
For no real reason other than I feel like it, I would like to take a moment to remember and appreciate Channing Tatum’s Ode To Situational Homosexuality (tm @johnleavittlives).
Wow you were not even kidding, I thought that was gonna be just like wink-nod sailor-related hyperbole but no. No, that went to a pretty explicitly Homo On The High Seas place. BEAUTIFUL.
Reblogging despite the lack of skin. (This makes me want to rewatch Magic Mike XXL, which is objectively The Best.)
This was a truly glorious moment in a truly bizarre film.
Bonus points for a verse of mollusc-related innuendo
Cheloneuniverse 