I can’t believe it took me until the second time through the audiobook to realize that Terciel made a fucking dad joke when Sabriel came to his rescue
I’M SO MAD
“Why wasn’t I brought up here so that I would know things?”
“Here? In Death?”
I don’t even care if this isn’t the proper interpretation IT’S A FUCKING DAD JOKE
MULTIPLE GENERATIONS OF A WHOLE GODDAMN FAMILY OF DORKS
Aaand next gen: mom jokes
“Your father is angry with me because he thinks I almost got myself killed. I don’t understand it myself, since I think he should be glad that I didn’t.”
*pauses for laughter*
*doesn’t understand why nobody’s laughing*
Abhorsen family humour: joking in Death or (probably and, let’s be real) joking about death.
Time for the Avatar/Old Kingdom fusion literally nobody asked for!
Katara is a Clayr who has just been called by the Watch for the first time. Her brother Sokka, not only is a boy, unusual for the Clayr, but he is sixteen and still no visions. He does have an extraordinary talent for making magical things though. Meanwhile they stumble onto Hama, a Clayr who survived being dragged into death, and years later, even managed to escape, alive. She warns them of a great and terrible evil Greater Dead creature named Ozai, who is the one who made the Old Kingdom into the horrible haven for the Dead and free magic that it has been for the last hundred years. Katara and her brother set out to find the lost heir to the throne and the Abhorsen, in hopes of saving their home, but is Hama all that she seems?
“The reservoir seemed colder without the sun. Sabriel felt the cold now, accompanied by the sudden, irrational fear that they had stayed too long in the water…”
Decided to update this to better reflect both the character and the moment
I firmly believe that Fleur Delacour and Viktor Krum remained friends after the triwizard tournament and that one night while they were celebrating Fleur and Bills engagement a very drunk Fleur bet a not as drunk Viktor that she could catch a snitch before him and so they competed and he won and Fluer lost her end of the bet saying that she would name her first born after him
and that is why their kid is named Victorie and the only reason it isn’t spelled with a k is to annoy Viktor
The door swung open at once. A tall, black-haired witch in emerald-green robes stood there. She had a very stern face and Harry’s first thought was that this was not someone to cross. – Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.
Star Wars is really really important to Hufflepuff Zuko. As the twin son of the evil right hand woman to a Dark Lord, growing up, the original trilogy felt like it had been written just for him. The idea that these two kids who were the children of this really evil man could choose to stand for what was right is just really really important to him.
And even though he knows his mother is dead, and why this is a Good Thing, and that Bellatrix would never have chosen redemption, and certainly not for Zuko, he always cries at the end of Return of the Jedi.
As his sister begins her own rise as a Dark Lord, Star Wars becomes even more important to him, not that he would ever say so, as he tries to convince his twin to come home and she tries to convince him to join her.
And he would be right there on opening day for The Force Awakens with Mai, you better believe it.
And Finn is his new fave?
Canon Zuko I think would have a much bigger love for Finn than Hufflepuff Zuko, since Hufflepuff Zuko was raised by the loving, supportive Iroh, and not as his father’s tool. No, Zuko’s heart goes out to Leia, and Kylo Ren being her son just kills him, because deep inside, he’s always going to be terrified that evil is in his blood and that one of his children will inherit it, and this kind of hits way too close to those fears.
So Hufflepuff Zuko doesn’t really identify with Finn because of how different his upbringing is from canon, but Mai Nott on the other hand… Mai got dragged to see this weird muggle moving picture thing, and she was kind of meh on the original trilogy, but she watches The Force Awakens and sees Finn getting out of the First Order, and leaving behind everything he was raised with, and all that control, and trying to grab everybody he cares for and run and get them somewhere safe, so that the people who controlled him for so long can’t hurt them, and oh, wow, suddenly she’s here for this.
Okay, this is post-story-timeline entirely, because some things are just too spoilery.
1. Slughorn is a very old man, and this is the second Dark Lord’s rise he’s lived through, (and the second Dark Lord he unwittingly mentored) and he is retiring, Minerva, really that’s it, no more. I don’t care if you don’t have a replacement lined up. Mai, who for various reasons that are spoilery, at this point can’t live with her parents, takes the job as a temporary measure until they can find someone better suited. Somehow they never do. Then McGonagal retires and Flitwick refuses the job, and poor Neville gets stuck with the thing, and he makes Mai’s appointment permanent three years into her being hired, and drops the Slytherin Head of House job in her lap too. Mai gets burned hard by Sughorn’s favoritism as a student and deeply resents him for it at the time, so she’s scrupulously fair as a teacher. She is also about half the school’s favorite teacher, because some days she walks in and looks at her students and says “Today we are blowing things up.”
2. Ty Lee and Suki both become professional athletes, in Quidditch and Football respectively. The year Ty Lee retires, she plays Seeker for Ireland and they win the World Cup. Both sisters are heavily involved in sports and children’s charities on their respective sides of the Wizarding Muggle divide. For a long long time, if their partners aren’t around, they share a room, because both of them have horrible nightmares from the war, and they feel better if they know their twin is there.
3. Aang wanted to be a professional Quidditch player, but he gets sidetracked by his wife’s efforts to reform Wizarding government, and ends up running for the Wizengamot and winning. He’s a war hero, so it’s not surprising. His pet causes are undoing the purebood hierarchy, squib rights, greater governmental accountability, and actually working to eliminate the global magical antiquities theft problem.
4. Katara becomes a healer and advocate for indigenous magical communities. She travels between the UK, where her husband is in office, and Canada where her family is from. She regularly skirts the edge of the International Statute of secrecy as she fights to get medical care and clean water to First Nations communities in Canada.
5. At the same time Mai is hired as Potions Professor at Hogwarts, Toph and Zuko are trainee Aurors. After the war with his sister, Zuko and Toph are eminently qualified dark wizard catchers, but Zuko is burned out on it. He uses his status as Auror, to with his boss’s approval, set up Wizarding children’s services. This is something near and dear to Harry’s heart too, for obvious reasons. In the end, Zuko runs for the Wizengamot on a pro-getting-wizarding-social-services-for-fuck’s-sake-also-I’m-a-war-hero platform and wins. He and Aang are parliamentarian contrarian buddies. He and Mai turn the Nott ancestral home into an emergency foster care center, and pretty much always have magical kids underfoot. Because she’s a teacher at Hogwarts, Mai is teaching or will teach nearly all of them. A few of them are there because she reported their parents.
Cheloneuniverse 