tanoraqui:

tanoraqui:

fic I need but refuse to write, #226: Boris’s first year on Castle Wulfenbach, centered mostly on the dawning horrified realization that nobody up here, including – nay, particularly – the Baron himself, has any clue what they’re doing.

highlights:

• Boris vs. the scheduling system, which doesn’t actually exist (Klaus keeps it in his head)
• Boris vs. the filing system, which DOES exist – in five different languages at once, and no record of who has what papers at any given time
• Boris vs. jägers, in general
• Boris vs. the unexpected lack of discrimination against constructs
• Boris vs. the fact that the Baron? doesn’t seem to sleep? ever??
• the rapid realization of the rest of the crew that Boris is less nervous than they are to interrupt the Baron at any given task, so suddenly that’s his job, too
• including in the middle of the night
• the Baron might not be asleep but Boris was
• the Baron isn’t even in his bedroom? where is he? are there secret tunnels in this place?
• good lord there are secret tunnels. how are there secret tunnels on an airship.
• Klaus is Mildly Pissed to run into him in a secret tunnel. Boris is daunted, until he reminds himself that he refuses to be daunted by sparks anymore.
• Klaus noticing at some point that his days have become much more efficient recently, somehow
• though there does seem to be more paperwor
• Boris decides that the best way to do his job is obviously to know where the Baron is at any given time. This is eased by Boris taking over the scheduling, but it’s still not…the Baron keeps running off places and doing things himself. godsakes, doesn’t he know Boris is trying to run an Empire here?
• and sometimes, seriously, Boris just cannot find him. There must be secret laboratories.
• for maximum effect, the Records Vault Incident happens about here
• and the first time the Baron is briefly wounded/unconscious, so for like one full hour, people are looking to Boris for orders. because they’ve gotten used to it? somehow? He has so little idea what he’s doing, oh god. Except, everything’s so urgent that he barely even notices to be terrified until it’s over.
• more climactic, however, is Boris deciding it really isn’t his job to question certain things, but by god there’s half a continent to manage here, so this schedule is going to be efficient if he has to write in two hours between 10pm and midnight for the Baron to do…whatever. At least it’ll be planned.
• and then everyone, Boris and the Baron included, will get six consecutive hours of sleep.
• Klaus is a little taken aback when Boris all but shoves a meticulously typed, three-page schedule into his face and firmly explains all this.
• he’s also surprised (impressed, a little amused) at his secretary’s priorities.
• about a week later, Boris is up late writing letters, and a secret door in his office which he didn’t know was there opens, and the Baron walks in with an eight-year-old in tow. And is just like, “This is Gil. He’s my son. He got caught spying on one of the labs today, so for punishment, he’s going to sort through those Pruskia reports you were complaining about. Feel free to teach him the filing system, but don’t let him be seen.”
• and just. leaves. Gil in shabby hand-me-downs looking around with way too much curiosity and excitement for this to really count as “punishment”, and Boris hovering somewhere between you’ve got to be kidding me and this explains a lot, and oh wow that’s a lot of trust and responsibility I’ve just been not-quite-casually handed