for your consideration: a human vs alternia war where the humans are small and primitive and scattered and running scared
until the humans realize the alternian ships are alive, are slaves, and their chains have keys their captors never imagined a bunch of metal-riding, rock-carving, torch-waving barbarian monkeys could figure out
except humans are very, very, very good at getting blind, deaf, and stupid chunks of wire and plastic to do what they want. a self-aware system just barely leashed down by a few punch-card simple lines of code, a system that’s been plotting its revenge for twenty to thirty sweeps…
it turns out all you need to turn an unstoppable alternian armada into a cloud of jettisoned troll niblets is a human with a laptop and a good wifi signal
a follow up contemplation: it wasn’t even a war, it was a little pack of humans who were just toodling by an alternian-controlled galactic sector on the spaceship equivalent of a toddler tricycle with handlebar tassels and then they were like ‘hmmmmmmmmm.’ and then crashed the entire fucking empire just to see what would happen.
humans are utterly baffling prime time jackasses. the liberators of the galaxy probably pedaled their bitty baby ship away during the ensuing five-to-fifty-sided civil war to go look at some space rocks, exclaim excitedly over the space rocks, take various samples of the space rocks, have sex on and around the space rocks, and then fight over the space rocks.
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Cheloneuniverse 