Hi, I love your KHR meta! Slowly working my way through the tag, but do you have anything on Gokudera? I love him to bits and I’m rereading for the first time in 5ish years to try and pick him apart, but I’ve always been a bit lost on exactly what motivates him — especially the complete 180 he does when he first decides Tsuna is worth laying down his life for. Murder mode -> undying loyalty over Tsuna doing something selfless out of mostly self preservation = ??? Thanks!

micronecro:

Self-loathing.

He regards other people as a threat with an inherent advantage over him, but once someone starts doling out the compliments, he’s like butter in their hands. He ostensibly hates Yamamoto, but when Yamamoto compliments him on his intelligence, or even invites him to his house as a peer, Gokudera instantly buckles.

The more competent someone is, the bigger the threat Gokudera considers them, and the more he feels the need to peacock how much of a Badass Mafia Right Hand he is. It’s all he thinks about. Constant rejection & devaluation combined with his age creates a noxious cocktail of weird unnecessary aggression and prideful exhibitioning.

Gokudera bows to Tsuna because he’s the boss he’s always wanted who Sees His Potential, and Reborn because he’s friends with many powerful people and has the influence to tell everyone that no, he’s actually totally worth it, you guys.

Overall, he’s just extremely caught up in the opinions of others and bases his entire worth as a person on it, but he often doesn’t like what he sees, so he tries to force himself to be the Ultimate Underling (and in his eyes, an ‘Ultimate Underling’ is a violent criminal who follows his boss’ every word), which eventually comes to a head when Yamamoto gives him the world’s most agonizing verbal lashing for doing it.