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Things Tony Stark does in Spider-man Homecoming

• He’s established to be massively profiting from cleaning up the mess of his own battles. The injustice of this arrangement along with the carelessness in the actual management of this damage control provides the motive and means for the Vulture to become a villain, making this yet another marvel villain created by Tony Stark. Not that Stark is responsible for Toomes’s choices–but his own choices have consequences and this is one of them. 
• In fact Toomes directly parallels Tony Stark by scavenging the wreckage of Avenger’s battles and becoming an arms dealer. (Think–Tony creating Ultron out of Chitari tech). 
• He made a sexual comment about Peter’s aunt, which clearly made him uncomfortable.
• He leaves Peter, a child who he has just equipped with a weapons-grade super-suit, to his own devices (under the light supervision of Happy Hogan to be fair) without communicating to Peter his actual expectations for him. He leaves him with the inaccurate impression that he might be called to join the avengers at any time, so when he is silent and distant, Peter, a child, naturally concludes that he must simply “work hard enough” to get his approval. 
• When Peter starts tracking the weapons and trying to tell him about it, Tony acts dismissively–he tell’s Peter to drop it, but gives no indication that he takes Peter’s concerns seriously or will follow up on the problem. He states that the weapons–which come from tech that he is responsible for–are “below the Avenger’s pay grade.”
• He did send the FBI, but honestly he sent those agents to their deaths at the hand of futuristic tech (again, tech he is responsible for safely disposing of!!) if Peter hadn’t been there to save them.  
• He put a tracker in Peter’s suit without his knowledge or consent–yes, to be able save his life but also to monitor if/when he left the city. When Peter first asks about it, he distracts and evades the question. When Peter makes it clear he objects later, he is told that the choice is not up to him. At no time do they have an honest conversation about how closely Peter is or should be watched—this encourages Peter to keep his own secrets and to go behind their back. 
• He programs suit he gave Peter to default to insta-kill mode at the drop of a hat. This feature was, admittedly deactivated under the “training wheel’s protocol,” but this only makes it clear that Tony’s idea of who Peter will become and grow into with experience is basically a killer who works for him on his Avengers team. 
• So Peter get’s in over his head, and people could have died of the Ferry if Stark didn’t come save the day. Is it time for a lecture? yes. It’s time to finally  communicate to Peter that he is being heard, explain what his expectations for Peter’s behavior are, encourage him to ask for help when he needs it. It is not time to shame Peter, to place the guilt of all those endangered lives upon his (young) shoulders, to remove all the support he had initially given him, fire him with no warning or second chance, and tell him “I was the only one who believed in you–the other’s thought I was crazy for recruiting a kid” (as if??? everyone criticizing Tony’s Choice to recruit a kid into Civil War meant that they didn’t think that the kid had talent or potential?!?!)
• There is zero (0) indication that that lecture and firing was the “tough love moment he needed to pull through” that Tony later spins it as. Nothing about that lecture inspired or motivated; Peter lost the will and the means to continue searching for the Vulture until it literally smacked him in the face by pure coincidence. Instead, it is pretty clear that in the wake of loosing Stark’s support Peter gains confidence in his identity as Spider-man and a hero independent of Stark’s validation and technology. 
• So Peter saves Tony’s butt by preventing all his crap from being stolen and this earns him back Tony’s favor. So what does Tony do?? Well, he arranges to make Peter, a minor, a part of his team and move him up state away from his aunt and school without his aunt, his legal guardian’s, knowledge or permission. 

So yeah. you know in the end, even if Tony Stark is, like, the worst superhero out there, I actually think he is an interesting character if his flaws are actually treated like flaws. My reading of Spider-man Homecoming is that the movie is actually pretty honest about Tony’s character flaws while preserving many of the things people actually like about the character–so I really appreciate the movie for that. Spider-man’s ultimate rejection of Stark’s offer to join the Avengers was sweet, sweet music to my ears lol.