Okay but like what if all the Weasley children went to school at the same time as Harry? Or what if Ron was the eldest Weasley child and one of the others were Harry’s age?
Ohhh you know what would have 100% changed everything?? If CHARLIE was in school with Harry.
Chamber of Secrets gets opened, and this mysterious fucking force is wandering around killing everything- and total magical creatures nerd Charlie Weasely pipes up “well it’s obviously a basilisk!” from day one.
And instead of Harry’s parseltongue talent being shunned, Charlie would have dragged Harry to some kind of lizard symposium to see how far his abilities reached. Geckos? Iguanas? Can you talk to Dragons Harry oh my god!?
good yes and just bitty!Charlie yelling at people shunning his friend because so what if You-Know-Who could do it also Harry can TALK TO ANIMALS IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE! HE CAN PROBABLY TALK TO SEA SERPANTS! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?
And then years down the road, and the whole Goblet of Fire incident happens…
And Harry finds out he has to fight a dragon and is like “okay I can do that hey Charlie how I get a dragon to chill out?”
And immediately gets slammed with 30 different books about dragon behavior and an hour long lecture.(It totally works tho- Harry walks out and has a legit chat with a massive fucking dragon in full view of everyone. “I can talk to snakes why wouldn’t I be able to talk to dragons they’re reptiles too.” And Charlie, eternally the dork, is wearing All The Griffindor Merch and cheering from the stands.)
Also, as Charlie is a total dork and Hermione is a total dork, I think Harry would end up being the Mom Friend who has to drag them away from 3 am study sessions why are you Griffindors you two are total dorks.
Okay but imagine Harry’s first “mom” moment being having to convince Charlie to write his older brothers for help with Nobert(a) because we can’t keep a dragon here Charlie – Hagrid lives in a WOODEN HOUSE!
(Also Ron and Bill frantically comming together trying to figure out wtf they’re supposed to do with a DRAGON when they have nothing to do with dragons, how does their little brother get into this kind of trouble and is this what they can expect for the rest of Charlie’s years at Hogwarts HOW ARE THE TWINS THE GOOD ONES COMPARED TO CHARLIE?!?)
Plus the Gringotts break-in/out with Charlie who’s filled with righteous fury over the dragon’s treatment
The Gringots plan that gets changed halfway through because goddamit if we’re going to break some laws we’re going to break all of the laws- and the HP gang stealing the Gringotts dragon to the utter bafflement of the entire wizarding world.
I feel like Charlie and Hermione would be awesome friends, both fighting for the rights of various magical creatures/beings while Harry is just so DONE and resigned to being an acomplice
By the time of the Gringotts break-in, Harry doesn’t even TRY to argue when Charlie turns to him and say, “Harry, we have to save that dragon. Harry we gotta”
“But Harry we gotta!” Turning into a phrase that still sends shivers down the spine of Hogwarts graduates a full decade later, because they can recall the Incidents that always followed them. Including, but not limited to:
That Time Hermione Granger Gave Every House Elf A Copy Of The Communist Manifesto
That Time Charlie Sucker-punched Draco Malfoy In The Great Hall For Insulting BuckBeak (Which Started A School Wide Fistfight)
That Time Charlie Refused To Write An Essay On How To Kill Werewolves And Spent A Week Protesting Outside Snape’s Office For Werewolf Rights
That Time The Gang Tried To Steal All Of Umbridge’s Cat Plates Because She Does Not Deserve Cats (How they got the password to the headmaster’s office is still a mystery- McGonagall still adamantly denies her participation despite being the only other person who knew it)
That Time Charlie Tried To Steal A Dragon From the TriWizard Tournament
The Incident That Shall Not Be Spoken OfThat Time Charlie Decided The Giant Squid Was Lonely and Tried to Smuggle a Kracken
That Time Hermione Introduced Charlie to The Hobbit and He Tried Hunting Teaching the Dragons at the Triwizard Tournament to Talk
That Time Charlie Tried to get Harry to Interview Every Snake at Hogwarts
That Time Charlie Tried to Befriend the Centaurs.
The Great Mandrake Debate
That Time They Learned That Hagrid Does Not Count As Suitable Adult Supervision
The Time Charlie Wasted An Entire Period And Lost Gryffindore 50 Points Because He Started A Fight With Snape About The Ethics of Certain Potion Ingredients.
The Owlrey Incident
THAT TIME CHARLIE BEAT QUERRILMORT OFF WITH A STICK BECAUSE HE WAS ATTACKING UNICORNS HOW DARE HE
That Time Charlie Accidentally Bonded With Filch
That Day Charlie Went Around With Mrs. Norris Riding On His Shoulder
That Time Charlie Defeated Fluffy With Bellyrubs
…i would be defeated in such a way
Same
@lullabyknell @blackkatmagic @squidspawn @redhothollyberries
Okay, I swore I would never bait you guys, but dammit. This. I. What? Please.
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