fuckyeahmarshworth:

everyone gives dumbledore shit for being a manipulative tool and whatall but PERSONALLY what i am impressed by is his ability, at age 184 or whatever, to keep track of teenage romantic mishaps well enough to brutally hotwire people via their hearts? like … imagine the opening shots of the first wizarding war. muggle deaths reported. assholes in masks seen at sporting events. dumbledore sits back in his chair, cracks his knuckles, and says, “MINERVA. BRING ME THE SHIPPING CHARTS.” and though he does not know it yet, voldemort’s fate is that day sealed

#imagine troll dumbledore staring into space for a long time and then being like …. ‘what’s the grey quadrant’#mcgonagall: ‘what’#’you know. the one with the little clover.’#’auspi…stice……?’#’THANK you’#’sorry. you must understand that it’s been many chaste centuries since a eugenicist last gave me a blowjob’#’of course’ says minerva. ‘say NOTHING more.’