You ever just think about how ridiculously powerful all the Homestuck trolls are? Even by Alternian standards, even excluding classpect stuff, we’ve got:
Aradia Megido: Xefros, implied to be a fairly typical rustblood, can barely bend a spoon. Aradia telekinetically flung Vriska around like a rag doll, despite the metal limb, while separately levitating her own metal body. Summoned dozens of ghosts into Vriska’s hive so that they manifested strong enough to appear to and screw with Vriska. Was not in or particularly near Vriska’s hive at the time. Came back from the dead as a ghost strong enough to pass as alive over the internet, something that is definitely not common. Wasn’t even remotely shadowy or see-through. As used by )(IC, Megido powers are strong enough to throw around small planets. That’s terrifying.
Tavros Nitram: Okay, we don’t really have a point of reference here, but the fact that he can control any animal, including First Guardians, animal-prototyped Sgrub enemies, and unhatched eggs, is striking. As used by )(IC, Nitram powers can also control part-animals, even sentients immune to Serket mind control. This control is subtle enough to let the victim do their own thing without direct supervision, while still ensuring absolute loyalty. Only other thing that did that involved years of brainwashing. Nitram powers were near-instantaneous.
Sollux Captor: Mituna is referred to as the single most powerful psiionic in the history of Alternia, so powerful that even after he rebelled he was kept alive – and his lifespan was artificially prolonged! – so that he could continue to pilot )(IC’s personal ship. Sollux can yeet asteroids fast enough to travel to different universes, while injured. His eyebeams can incinerate a troll in seconds.
Karkat Vantas: this might be a Bloody thing, but he managed to get trolls from every caste in the hemospectrum working together as friends. Kept his blood color hidden for six sweeps. Basically the second coming of Space Jesus.
Nepeta Leijon: This might be normal, but it’s pretty cool how she hunts and kills her own food, while living alone in a cave with no support except her lusus.
Kanaya Maryam: Are there rainbow drinkers other than her and Porrim? Maybe, but my girl took a beam of concentrated Hope straight to the chest and got right back up. Walks in the sun, glows in the dark, bisects people with a chainsaw then paints her lips with their blood. An icon. Porrim was a single mom in a culture that didn’t even have a concept of motherhood, raising a kid that every drone and adult in the empire had orders to cull on sight. Actually, that daywalking thing probably came in real handy there.
Terezi Pyrope: She can smell colors. Well enough to read. She was raised by an egg. She had no protection from anything growing up, but she survived and thrived anyway. No powers, but she managed to manipulate Doctor Freaking Scratch into doing what she wanted. Incredibly dangerous.
Vriska Serket: Ardata is shown controlling two people: a rustblood and a chronic people-pleaser who would probably have done what she said even without the mind control. She controls them one at a time, for less than a minute at a time, while they’re standing right in front of her. Vriska controls people throught the internet, knocks out people in other universes, starts elaborate mind control chains while bleeding out after being caught in an explosion, controls multiple trolls at once while focusing on other stuff. Aranea, of course, controls armies, including highbloods, with ease, doesn’t break her concentration for anything short of having her soul ripped out of her body, and puppeteers multiple Damaras in the furthest ring with enough ease to use their powers as effectively as someone just using Megido powers directly, while physically dodging attacks and mentally freaking out.
Equius Zahhak: builds highly effective mechanical limbs, robots that can be used to spar with, and robots with at minimum a cardivascular system that can be possessed effectively by ghosts, all at six sweeps or less. I don’t care if Alternian tech is more advanced, that’s still impressive. Plus he knows how to attach the limbs so they hook up with nerve endings correctly and can be manipulated as easily as organic limbs. Contrast Nihkee, with her much less effective peg leg. He’ll also just do this for anyone who asks. His annoying neighbor wants a robot arm? Sure. Brownblood friend-of-a-friend needs new legs? Yeah, okay, he can hook you up. There’s never any mention of him getting paid for this, either, he just does it. Dude’s literally the best mechanical engineer in the entire comic.
Gamzee Makara: Look I have no idea what a typical clown is like. The boy can survive anything short of bisection. He’s scary-loyal to Caliborn. He pulled a cursed object out of nonexistence because he was mad at Dave for making fun of his religion. Kurloz, meanwhile, is a powerful telepath with a highly specialized and insidious skillset. Very subtle, very dangerous.
Eridan Ampora: he’s good enough at FLARPing to keep Gl’bgolyb reliably fed, and loyal enough to Feferi that he never “accidentally” slips up and kills all the landdwellers. When he does fight he takes down all three opponents hard and fast, and he’s smart enough to destroy the matriorb as a distraction before killing Kanaya. It’s partially his legendary weapon, but he still has the tenacity to take down powerful NPCs that are very much not designed to be killed, then survive their attempts at retaliation. Cronus, however, is a pathetic and unfunny joke.
Feferi Piexes: Heiress to the Empire. Wants to enact sweeping reforms, despite how easy it would be to act like Trizza and just lord her status over everyone. Befriends lowbloods, has no desire to cull Meenah, still by no means a pushover. Meenah, of course, uses SCIENCE to pull all your powers combined, has beaten hundreds of challengers to the throne, built both an interstellar and a culinary empire, crushes rebellions, outlives universes, single-handedly conquered an entire alien planet, and is just generally physically, magically, and culturally powerful.
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